The Muppet Movie

1979 Muppet funk


Rating: 16/20 (Dylan: 8/20; Emma 11/20; Abbey fell asleep within ten minutes)


Plot: Kermit's a swamp rat keeping it real with nothing but his banjo, his songs about rainbows, and his dreams. When he meets a Hollywood producer, he gets an ambitious idea--find his way to the showbiz capital of the world to become rich and famous. At the same time, businessman Doc Hopper, owner of a chain of restaurants specializing in frog legs, wants Kermit to sell out and become spokesman for his company. While journeying, Kermit befriends a criminally unfunny bear, a rock band, a pig, a Gonzo, a giant hairy thing, and a couple scientists. Together, they hit the road, evading Hopper and his thugs while attempting to reach their dreams.


First off, I completely missed the "one-eyed midget" played by Tommy Madden in this one. It's impossible to imagine that I could miss a midget, but I was probably distracted by another of my obsessions--puppets. This movie has everything--guns, car chases, suggested sexual relations between a vulture and a chicken, a Skip Spence reference (see: Animal), a psychedelic bus, music, terrible puns, a puppet riding a bicycle, a whorish pig, gratuitous cameos. The cameos were a bummer. Bob Hope, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, Big Bird, Telly Savalas, Mel Brooks (big surprise--he overdoes it), Milton Berle, Orson Welles, Edgar Bergen (his last role. . .he died a few weeks after shooting his cameo), and others. It's in the spirit of the show (but where was John Denver?) but got a little tiring after a while. Some of the jokes were pretty terrible, maybe ripped off from a lost Marx Brother movie, but that sort of added to the charm. There are lots of cool visuals and lots of "How are they doing that?" moments, and the vocal performances and most of the songs are excellent. Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem nearly steal the movie, and their song "Can You Picture That?" is a highlight.




"Anybody's lover, Everybody's brother I wanna be your lifetime friend.
Crazy as a rocket, Nothing in my pocket, I keep it at the rainbow's end.
I never think of money, I think of milk and honey, Grinnin' like a Cheshire Cat.
I focus on the pleasure, It's something I can treasure, Can you picture that?

Let me take your picture, Add it to the mixture, There it is I got ya now.
Really nothing to it, And anyone can do it, Its easy and we all know how.
Now begins the changin', Mental rearrangin', Nothing's really where its at.
Now the Eiffel Tower's Holding up a flower, I gave it to a Texas Cat.

Fact is there's nothing out there you can do,
Yeah, even Santa Claus believes in you.

Break down your walls, Begin, believe, begat.
Be a better drummer Be an up-and-comer Can you picture that?

CAN YOU BAGGY THAT?

All of us are winnin' Pickin' and a-grinnin' Lordy how I love to jam.
Jelly belly giggling Dancing and a wiggling Honey that's the way I am.
Lost my heart in Texas, Northern Lights affects us, I keep it underneath my hat
Aurora Borealis, Shinin' down on Dallas, Can you picture that? Can you picture that?


Use it if you need it, But don't forget to feed it, Can you picture it?"


There's a good message poking its head out from all this meta-nonsense, and although the humor and deluge of songs would make this difficult for some people to watch without audible groaning, it's impossible not to appreciate the creativity and artistry of Jim Henson. Speaking of him, this story is apparently based on his own.


Here I am enjoying puppets: