1958 Mexican monster movie
Rating: 2/20
Plot: A crazy scientist who wants to take over the world races against some men of indeterminate profession to grab an Aztec breastplate with matching bracelet that unfortunately unleashes some mummy curse.
If seeing a mummy fight a clunky robot in slow motion is up your alley or anywhere near it, this is the movie for you. The story's ludicrous and the acting and pacing and special effects are arguably worse. The movie is narrated by one of the main characters as he tells his group of friends all about his goofy experiences with this goofy mummy. The movie probably would have worked better without the narrative framing. On second thought, I doubt anything can save a movie like this. There are lags, but this is a pretty entertaining piece of crap. A scene involving a wife who was kidnapped at least three times in the movie, some of the silliest gangsters you'll ever see, a laboratory with beakers filled with what must be acid, and a pissed mummy is a highlight. The main bad guy/evil scientist sort of has an Orson Welles thing going for him. Maybe he was the Mexican Orson Welles or something. His soliloquy when he describes his excitement after creating a "human robot" is exceptionally moving. That "greatest invention" itself is pretty cool. A guy in a clunky metallic costume who moves really slowly? How do they think of these things? There's also one of those wonderful Torgo-esque performances by a guy who plays the night watchman at the cemetery. And there are numerous moments where this looks to be the production of a group of people who have never actually witnessed actual human behavior. Or mummy behavior. Or human robot behavior. I can see the actors and director together on the set.
"Hmm. Now what would an actual person do here?"
"I have no idea. Maybe we should go and find some so that we can ask them."
"Yes. Yes. That just might be the solution. Come on."
"Yes. Come on."
Of course, the dubbing could have a lot to do with the completely unnatural way these characters behave. I'd definitely recommend this one to lovers of really bad movies. And I look forward to seeing more Aztec mummy movies, especially the one where the Aztec mummy fights Mexican women wrestlers.
At first, I was kind of disappointed in this film. I mean, it was bad and the dubbing was terrible, but it was mostly just bad in a slow sort of way.
ReplyDeleteThen it's bad began to impress me. If bad were charted on a graph with time then this would have a perfectly straight 45 degree downward trajectory. Also, an exciting horse-race was developing with four bona fide contenders. Horrible dubbing, laughable acting, ridiculous plot, and awful dialogue were in stiff competition with each other.
When Dr. Krupp took over and his evil plans were unveiled, I thought I had a winner. You see, earlier in the film I realized he was the bad-guy within two seconds because he looked a little like Satan and he kept stroking his goatee with a malicious look. I even said so to the DVD player.
Acting seemed like a lock, until I realized the movie was heading toward an ultimate smackdown between The Mummy (looking like Leatherface) and The Human Robot (featuring one of the silliest costumes I have ever seen... or ever will see, I'm sure). The unbelievable final battle that takes place in slow motion (not slow motion effects i.e. "Watchmen") almost cinched it for plot.
In the end, I still have to give the nod to acting since it was a bit of a surprise how across-the-board awful it was, with special mention going to Dr. Krupp. I mean, I was warned about the plot. If this had been called "One of the Worst Acted Movies Ever", then things could have gone the other way.
I am going to give this film a 3 for quality and a 12 for campy movie enjoyment. It was only 65 minutes long, which was a perfect amount of time to waste on "Aztec Mummy vs the Human Robot".
I'll need another recommendation, although if it is intentionally bad, please make it at least this bad and this short.
I'll save some bad ones for later...
ReplyDeleteI'm going with Jarmusch's 'Dead Man,' which I just rewatched. I know it's the second Jarmusch movie I've thrown at you and that you didn't like the first, but this one is quite a bit different from 'Paradise'...actually, it's quite a bit different from anything. Be warned, however: my brother didn't like it.
Your brother seemed to hate it, and your synopsis fills me with foreboding ("Eraserhead"?), but I'll give it a shot. An 18, huh?
ReplyDeleteIt's not 'Eraserhead'...you'll like it. It's a great movie.
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