Tentacles

1977 Jaws rip-off

Rating: 6/20 (Dylan: 20/20)

Plot: Henry Fonda is digging a tunnel or something, and somehow awakens a giant octopus which begins terrorizing a nondescript beach community. It grabs babies and devours fisherman and ruins child yacht races. Somebody's got to stop it, and Richard Dreyfuss is nowhere to be found!

Dylan was convinced that this was a comedy and said it's the funniest one he's ever seen. He doesn't know what he's talking about though. Remember, he's the same guy who gave Dr. Strangelove a 6/20. I'm amazed at this piece of garbage's cast. John Huston plays his cliched character stoically. The sultry and seductive Shelly Winters really hams it up (no, Cory, she doesn't die in this one). And poor Henry Fonda just looks completely lost. There are far too many characters in this, and there's far too much incoherent dialogue. I really would have liked to see more tentacles, especially since that's the title of the movie, but maybe that's just my love of Japanese tentacle porn coming out. Almost frustratingly (not quite, but almost), there are some moments in this movie that are almost (almost!) good. There's some nifty stylistic touches when the monster's first making his moves during the exposition. It's style that feels plundered, but it's still a little style. The scene with the baby and the others are startling, more startling since we don't get to see the culprit right away. But it doesn't take too long to realize that we're dealing with complete ineptitude here. The underwater scenes are nicely done, but a lot of the shots of boats look like they're being filmed by a drowning man. And there are lots of close-ups of the backs of people's heads, the sides of boats, and (most alarmingly) crotches. There was a shot of a belt buckle that actually convinced me I was supposed to have 3D glasses on. I thought that belt buckle was going to wind up in my living room! The most embarrassing scene in the movie involves a hefty Italian guy (the underwater shots of his body are the most horrifying parts of this movie) enjoying a swim. The director plays the fake attack card (you know, the here's-some-scary-music-and-a-shot-from-the-perspective-of-an-attacker-because-oh-no-he's-about-to-be-attacked-but-no-it's-just-his-friend-playing-a-joke-ha-ha trick) very awkwardly. Twice! Withing two minutes! Also embarrassing is the soundtrack. Inspired by Jaws, the filmmakers knew they'd have to have a sort of memorable theme for the octopus, Tentacles' dum-duh, dum-duh. But the five-note motif used here, something that sounds like a cat falling on a piano, is just dumb. Things get beyond ridiculous when Bo Hopkins delivers a seemingly endless monologue while straddling a killer whale tank. It's nothing less than a magical movie moment, but it's only a prelude to a climactic battle scene (SPOILER ALERT!) between a pair of killer whales and the giant octopus. Yeah, that's exactly as badass as it sounds.

4 comments:

  1. Yes I have seen this......its a freaking weird movie, because it was made by some Italians with WAY too much money, and not nearly enough script or talent to create a decent movie. Its tough to watch because half of it is dubbed, and the other half sounds like it was recorded in a very deep well.

    I love bad movies....bad movies like Road House, Batman and Robin, Plan Nine From Outer Space, and Showgirls. This movie is not to that level, because its actually boring for long stretches. Its just a bad movie with a few cool scenes. I would give it a five, even with the value of watching Henry Fondas career come to a screeching halt.

    Now if you want to see a horrible and hilariously bad 1970's monster movie starting Henry Fonda in an even more embarrassing role, pick up The Swarm. You thought that Tentacles had an amazing cast? Check out Michael Caine, Olivia DeHavilland, Katherine Ross, Jose Ferrar, Lee Grant, Richard Widmark, Patty Duke, Fred Macmurry, Slim Pickens and EVEN Richard Chamberlain. I counted at LEAST nine acting Academy Awards won in this cast for acting.....its freaking incredible the star power in this dreadful movie. Its one of the great unseen gems from the 1970's, and today its been almost completely forgotten.

    "I always credit my enemy, no matter what he may be, with equal intelligence." Poor Richard Widmark had to deliver that line.... One of my favorite lines in movie history. If you can find The Swarm, and enjoy a really cheesy bad movie, this is the way to go.

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  2. Yes, this one is way too talky. I did enjoy a lot of it, but I wouldn't recommend this one as a "good bad" movie.

    'The Swarm' definitely sounds fun. Not at my library though. 'Tentacles' was actually on television.

    Have you ever seen 'Robot Monster'?

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  3. Yeah I have seen Robot Monster......Its an 18 as a bad movie. I still like a few other wretched films better. Its more fun than Tentacles......so that should mean something.


    Here are my three personal favorite BAD movies of all time.


    Exorcist 2-The Heretic---Sweet Satan I love this movie.

    Showgirls--The sex scene in the pool? The funniest sex scene in history.

    Batman and Robin--Alicia Silverstone alone makes this movie all time bad.

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  4. "An 18 as a bad movie"...I've never thought of rating them that way.

    I couldn't finish 'Batman and Robin' but I don't remember it being entertaining at all. I remember it as bad, but not way more bad than some of those other Batman movies.

    I've never seen 'Showgirls' which is surprising since I'm such a big fan of 'Saved by the Bell'. I might try to check that one out soon.

    I'm not even sure I knew 'Exorcist 2' existed before you mentioned it a while back.

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