The Caine Mutiny

1954 boat movie

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Rub a dub dub, a bunch of men in a tub. Mother-fixated horndog Ensign Keith hops on board the titular rickety ship. The first guy in charge (Lt. Capt. Sergeant Commander) is replaced by a new guy who looks and acts suspiciously like Humphrey Bogart. It doesn't take long for the rest of the crew to figure out that this guy is not only a stubborn and unfair disciplinarian, but probably batshit insane and a little yellow. After a series of questionable decisions, the titular mutiny occurs during a storm. Then, there's a court martial.

Here's an action drama with the rawness and depth you'd expect from a Disney production. Maybe that's just because of Mickey Mouse's pal Fred MacMurray, but more than likely it's something else. Stuffed to the gills with big, big music and images of actors almost looking like they're actually on a boat, this sounds and looks like an enthralling dramatic adventure story, but it's really pretty flat. The characters are types, and the acting, including with Bogart's Queeg but especially with Robert Francis's Keith, is just ho-hum, exactly what you'd expect instead of being challenging or creating characters with depth. The story's fine, but it just seems like nothing fits right with this movie, like a Japanese man singing the blues. My favorite scene:

(Keith and his special lady friend are standing outside saying romantic things to each other, things that were apparently written by somebody who has never heard real people talk and gets his inspiration from romantic movies from the 1930s. Keith kisses his special lady friend on the forehead.)
Special lady friend: Keith! There are people.
Keith: I don't care. Let them look!
(More forehead kissing ensues.)
Special lady friend: It's getting late.
(Scene fades. And the next shot is a waterfall the following morning. It's symbolic.)

That kind of seems sexually explicit and borderline offensive because of how the rest of this movie feels. And that's really the main problem with this movie. It's ok. It's butterscotch pudding. If you really want to eat some pudding, butterscotch pudding is fine. But it's a boring pudding that nobody really wants. If you have to watch The Caine Mutiny, it's fine, but I don't see anything here that makes it seem like something that anybody really wants.

Yet another Cory recommendation! He's apparently a big fan of butterscotch pudding.

3 comments:

  1. The only way that I would be happier with your reviewing my recommendations is if you loved them all. I think you really missed the boat on this, though (pun alert).

    First, let me say that the actor who plays Keith absolutely sucks. Given the quality of acting and characterization throughout the rest of the film, his single-handed bland suckiness is especially glaring. Other than him, I love this film.

    Bogart in an unexpected role in full twitch-mode is fun to watch. MacMurray is much, much better than you give him credit for, and you don't even mention the great Jose Ferrer and his role in one of my favorite movie "twists", ever. In one scene Ferrer makes the viewer see everything in a different light.

    Deduct what you want for Keith, but the rest of "The Caine Mutiny" is a great film worthy of a 19. We can just add this to the "unjustified 14" pile.

    Replacement: "The Apartment", to give you a greater appreciation for Fred MacMurray.

    p.s. butterscotch sucks worse than Robert Charles Francis (who only acted in 4 movies before God mercifully clipped his acting wings for good).

    p.p.s I am trying to get another friend named Barry to check out your stuff. I hope he reads your review and sends some righteous indignation your way.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I didn't mean to say anything bad about Fred MacMurray. I just think "Disney" whenever I see him because it seems like he was in every single Disney movie I saw when I was a kid.

    Jose Ferrer is better than anybody else in this movie. I didn't really buy Bogie in this though. The dialogue had words like "acute paranoia" which is necessary because Bogart's performance didn't do much to convince me he was suffering from any mental problems.

    I took some (mostly illegible) notes while watching this, most which I either couldn't decipher at all or were completely pointless. If I drank, I would wonder if I even watched this sober. But one of my notes is "Keith-->[illegible word] acting icky! Gag it!"

    I would definitely welcome a second Barry. I'm glad the first one is around, and the more Barries, the better!

    Oh, I've seen 'The Apartment'...18/20. I should give that a retroactive bonus point because it helped me help my team in a trivia competition once (what was used as a spaghetti strainer?)...I did really like that movie though.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ironically, I think MacMurray's three best non-TV roles were as bad guys ("Double Indemnity", "The Caine Mutiny" and "The Apartment"). If you have seen the latter with its totally inappropriate use of a wooden racket, I will instead choose "The Sweet Smell of Success" in honor of the recently departed letch, Tony Curtis.

    ReplyDelete