2010 remake Rating: 12/20 (Abbey: 15/20)
Plot: Same as the 1984 version of The Karate Kid except the thirty-five year old "kid" Ralph Macchio has been replaced with Will Smith's daughter. Oh, and it takes place in China and has a Lady Gaga song replacing that Joe Esposito "You're the Best . . . Around" song.
When I was a kid, I was in a book with Grover, the Sesame Street Muppet. My mom or grandmother or somebody had sent away for it. It had my picture in it, and Grover used my name. And you can bet that I felt special as a seventeen-year-old kid, the only boy in my high school who co-starred with Grover in a picture book! I imagine this version of The Karate Kid is a lot like that only Will Smith's daughter's parents have a lot more money to spend on the project. The story is nearly identical, cheesy layer after cheesy layer. I think it might (shockingly) have even more montages though. The incomparable Jackie Chan replaces the incomparable Pat Morita, and the fight scenes are, and this is no compliment, a bit flashier. The big climactic "Crane" thing from the first movie is replaced by something incoherent and goofy, and probably because of the 1984 movie, I knew it was coming and just had to sort of wait for it in agony. "Oh, I bet Will Smith's daughter is going to try to pull that off in the tournament," I groaned. Jaden Smith isn't awful, even with all the bad lines she's forced to read, and the endless training montages looked authentic enough. The kung-fu aficionado in me probably liked those best. That whole jacket thing didn't quite have the impact that "Wax on/Wax off" had though. I also liked the lone fight scene with old man Jackie Chan beating up some children although I wished those children would have been dressed as skeletons. The biggest problem I had with this remake was its length. At five hours and twenty-three minutes, it just seemed a little long. I probably could have done without the couple hours of violin recitals and the montages could have been cut in half from fourteen to seven. I think Will Smith should have his daughter remake Teen Wolf next, by the way. Or maybe the three Back to the Futures! Hell, Jackie Chan could even take Christopher Lloyd's Doc Brown in that one, right?
Yeah, this "Karate Kid" is no "Karate Kid", and you could ask what was the point, but if you don't compare it to the original or Smith-bash, it is a much better film than a 12. Smith does a very good job, both dramatically and in the action sequences. The interaction between Chan and Smith is very nice, and I think the story translated very well to the new environment. A 15.
ReplyDeleteNote 1: This may have set a movie-record for bringing a tear to my wussy eye...the marks on the wall in his home showing how he'd grown over the years and the point where his father died.
Note 2: your skeleton remark brought a smile as it reminded me of a favorite "The Social Network" line.
But you HAVE to compare it to the original. That's what you get for not coming up with an original idea and really not even changing any of the meat of that original idea.
ReplyDeleteI did think Smith did an OK job, but I didn't like the chemistry between Chan and him. The training stuff worked, but the more emotional parts of their relationship (the thing with the car especially) just didn't work for me, felt tacked on or forced.
One could argue that the answer to "What was the point?" is because the first one is an 80's movie and all 80's movies are embarrasingly dated by bad soundtrack choices including but certainly not limited to synthesizer heavy musics...
You need to punish this movie more for being way too long. It is good to see that you agree with Abbey though.
Eh..I give it a 10. I am sickened I saw it.
ReplyDeleteMy review in a nutshell. That was easy. Oh and I watched the animotronic pizza animal movie for this month. I am the best poster on this board right now. WOO HOO ME.
Oh and Cory....remind me to punch you for "note 1" the next time I see you. God, you worry me sometimes.