Urine Couch AM Movie Club: Kissing Jessica Stein

2001 lesbian romantic comedy

Rating: 12/20

Plot: The titular Jewish heterosexual journalist struggles to find herself a suitable man and eventually gives up after she meets hot little Helen Cooper. They do girl things--shopping, vacuuming, putting on nail polish--before progressing to some lighter lesbian action--staring lustfully, smooching, cuddling. Then, it's full-fledged lesbian action, all shown off screen and making this movie completely worthless to nearly everybody.

I'm not a hipster feminist or a lesbian and therefore not really the target audience for this. To me, it was like a watered-down Woody Allen movie, not the primo vintage Woody in the first or middle stages of his career or even the watered-down self-conscious Woody Allen in the second half of his career but an even more watered-down version in a yet-to-arrive third stage of his career. Most of the characters irritated me, and Jessica just wasn't somebody I cared to follow around for an hour and a half. I felt like the movie kept winking at me, and then I'd look over at Gene Siskel's ghost on the other Urine Couch cushion and notice that he was also winking at me. He also was doing everything he could to make it obvious that he had an erection, and after a while, I was just wanting to say, "Alright, Gene. We get it. You like lesbians. Just make sure you keep that thing to yourself." My apologies to fans of Kissing Jessica Stein, but I really can't think of anything to say about this movie.