1984 Schwarzenegger movieRating: 16/20
Plot: In the distant future (I think, 2007), machines have taken over the world. The titular robotic assassin is sent back in time to terminate a women who will later give birth to a guy who will mess up the robots' picnic. Some other guy also travels back in time to try to stop him and maybe to convince him to put on a pair of pants.
I don't know how old I was, but I have a fond memory of watching this movie at some relative or step-relative's house following a game at Busch Stadium, the second one, that ended with a diving catch by Willie McGee. I slept in this person's basement and found this on the television when I was probably flipping through the stations in search of nudity. The next day, I got to try out a pogo stick. The step-relatives had a cute girl who lived next door, and I'll bet she still thinks about how impressive I looked on that pogo stick. Or in those yellow shorts that were a little too short.
But I digress. That has nothing to do with what this movie's all about which is actually Arnold Schwarzenegger's penis. It's probably the second most exciting Arnold Schwarzeneggar movie moment right next to that scene where he fights a guy in a bear suit in Hercules in New York. Soon after naked Arnold arrives in 1980-something, he punches through a guy and steals a guy's clothes. Now Arnold, if you haven't noticed, is a fairly large man. I'd think it was pretty lucky that he found a random guy whose clothes fit him so well. Speaking of random guys, that's really what James Cameron is good at here--allowing random guys to shine. There's the "Hey, man, you got a dead cat in there?" guy, the "That son of a bitch took my pants!" guy, and the guy on the telephone who says, "Hey, man, you have a serious attitude problem," all which makes it seem like Cameron has never actually met real people. Arnold never acts like a real person, but he surprisingly plays an emotionless robot really well and has a screen presence that makes almost every moment of screen time he has exciting. The plot's a little on the goofy side, and the flashback sequence special effects and the general story line, almost thirty years later, are very dated. I kept expecting Doc Brown to run out and yell at Arnold and Michael Biehn for messing up the space-time continuum or something. I did like the stop-motion terminator action at the end though. Solid sci-fi entertainment. I have not, by the way, seen any of the sequels. I think I did eat a Terminator cereal at one point though, but that could all be in my imagination. Phallus-shaped marshmallows?
I am going to avoid commenting on Hugo, because I will sound like a bitter old curmudgeon. However the Terminator? Now thats some fine movie making. Its an interesting mix between some of the most original ideas in time travel science fiction, mixed in with a television movie budget. The special effects have mostly held up, even if they are mostly stop motion animation. Arnold is perfectly cast in a role that requires very little speaking and a TON of physical presence. Michael Biehn is fine as the "hero" while Linda Hamilton is passable as the damsel in distress. The plot moves along at a frenetic pace, and when I first saw this, I can clearly remember putting myself in the humans place, wondering what I would do in that situation. The answer being, of course, what COULD I do? I like this movie because it builds a universe, and sticks to the rules of that universe, so even the most outlandish stuff is completely believable. The major negative with this film is the music, which, along with Linda Hamiltons hair, are the only two things that are really badly dated. Otherwise, top notch action adventure Sci Fi. An 18 from me.
ReplyDeleteOh and the sequels range from very good to mediocre......getting less enjoyable with each one. T2 has some great moments, that rival the original. Dont bother with T3 and T4.
Wait, you didn't like Hugo? How's that even possible?
ReplyDeleteUggh. The music was awful in this. The stop-motion animation, as much as I like that art form, almost clashes with the rest of the movie's look, but I liked it. Your crack about Hamilton's hair made me smile.
I might catch the second one of these sometime soon.
I liked the soundtrack. Like the movie, it is driving and relentless. The effects and budget are overcome by the cool concept and the excellent acting. My favorite moment is when the boyfriend wakes up with the Terminator in the room and says, "WHOA!". A 19.
ReplyDeleteI see I was Anonymous again. I want credit for my insightfulness.
ReplyDeletei just want to point out the previous anonymous is NOT me. this movie is AWFUL. don't forget the "good job kid. you deserve the tip" guy. i love all the off camera dialogue. the music is SUPER dated.
ReplyDeletei liked you in the yellow shorts.
that would of had to been the house we stayed at to go to the carnival. that was a basement we stayed in.
I did not see this movie with any Anonymouses. It was near St. Louis. You're totally wrong about this movie being awful, but you're probably right about the yellow shorts. So you're batting .500 in that comment.
ReplyDeleteno i didnt see it with you. this movie if it didnt have arnold would be one of your sunday bad movies. i think anything with arnold should be bad movie sunday viewing anyway, but he is a big name therefore any piece of crap he is in becomes part of the zeigesit.
ReplyDeleteNah, Arnold's personality (or lack of one) works in this because he isn't human. What normally looks like bad acting is appropriate in this. And did you even see his dick?
ReplyDeleteThis is a well-paced action thriller. Good sci-fi action with lots of suspense! The music is really the only flaw. I think you are being unfairly tricked into thinking this is a bad movie because you don't like the governor.
Compare this to 'Kindergarten Cop' and then talk to me about bad Arnold Schwarzenegger movies.
Three worst Arnold movies:
ReplyDelete1. Batman and Robin
2. The Last Action Hero
3. Commando
These movies qualify as pieces of crap. Since most Arnold stuff should be avoided, there may be others.
As I previously wrote, I am a big fan of "The Terminator" (and "Terminator 2). I think they are two of the best action/ sci-fi movies made. "Predator" is also another good Arnold action/sci-fi.
i remember predator being a completely bizarre slow movie but the survival aspect is really intriquing and is a interesting but not original concept. i would like to watch it again soon. terminator 2 i remember fondly enough, but i do NOT like the 1st movie. the acting is awful. the music is bad. the dialogue is bad.
ReplyDeleteI don't like Predator as much as Terminator or Alien. I'm only lumping Alien in there because of those Alien vs. Predator movies which I haven't seen but imagine are unbelievably stupid. Predator just feels generic to me despite Carl "You got yourself a stew goin'" Weathers.
ReplyDeleteStill haven't seen the second Terminator.