Rocky

1976 love story

Rating: 17/20

Plot: The titular boxer, an over-the-hill part-time amateur pugilist and part-time loan shark bruiser, gets the chance of a lifetime when the cocky heavyweight champion of the world challenges him to a match. Balboa balances training and courting Adrian, a shy pet store employee, and prepares physically and mentally for his second chance.

This isn't a movie about just one underdog, the titular one. It's an underdog overdose! It really lays on the resurrection theme pretty thickly from the get-go with the first shot being a painted Christ and the word "resurrection" actually appearing on a sign in the background. I also love how Rocky is later compared to Albert Einstein, Beethoven, and Helen Keller. Which gives me an idea--maybe I'll tackle a Helen Keller boxing movie after I finish writing and directing my sequel to The Diary of Anne Frank. I can't watch Carl Weathers without saying, "You got yourself a stew." But he's good here, convincing as both a boxer and an actual human. He's got pizazz. My favorite bit of acting from any of these movies is Apollo's look in the 14th round after Rocky gets up again. Love Burgess Meredith's Mickey, too, so grizzled. His face is perfect for this part as a guy with 1,000 years of boxing experience. Maybe Stallone should have had his character write the movie to make the boxing parts of it a little more believable. Another thing I respect about this movie is that is that it succeeds with two hearts--the sports story and the love story. You get a brutal 15 rounds of bloody boxing, cracked ribs, blood being spat out, cut eyes, etc., but the movie ends with an "I love you!" The result of the boxing match can barely be heard in the background as Rocky looks for his gal. I really am touched by the whole thing, as manipulative and movie-ish as it is.

But let's talk about Rocky. I'm making my way through the Rocky movies, two-thirds of them for the very first time. It seems that with as much as Rocky gets punched in the head, he should become more and more brain-damaged. I think that's how brains work anyway though admittedly, I am not a scientist. In this first movie, Rocky is so simple and childlike, and Stallone plays the character as mentally challenged. He has conversations about turtle food with himself in the mirror; Tarzan-yells at a dog that I believe is named Butt Kiss; asks, "How do you spell Del Rio?"; says things like "Hey, I won't let that happen no more, about the thumb, you know?"; has trouble opening his locker, something that I see the dumbest 7th graders in the world accomplish daily (OK, to be fair, he does technically get it open, and it's a padlock problem rather than a Rocky's brain problem, but still--it took him a long time to figure it out, right?); greets birds with a "Hey, birds!" that rivals the way Tommy Wiseau's dog greeting (seriously, all bad movie appreciators need to check out The Room) and later compares birds to "candy, like flying candy"; has these goofy arguments with Buddy the driver (Rocky, "I don't like YOUR face" is not a good comeback to "I don't like your face." It really isn't.), a character who says, "I heard retards like the zoo" which made me wonder if the Dead Milkmen were inspired to write a song after seeing this movie; says "I ain't never talked to no door before" which is, if my counting is correct, a triple negative, a line he delivers after needlessly introducing himself as Rocky twice; introduces himself as Rocky to Adrian again on the television because he must have gotten television and radio confused ("Yo, Adrian. . . it's me, Rocky.); impresses girls with the old "Ahh ahh ahh ahh! I just dislocated my finger" trick; asking if he's talking too loud which, most of the time, he really is; delivers a nice "Ehh-yo" cymbal crash after his punchlines; refers to himself as both dumb and a moron; thinks turtles and a gold fish are "rare animals"; explains his Italian Stallion nickname by saying, "I invented that one day when I was making dinner." (By the way, are boxers supposed to give themselves nicknames? That seems amateurish to me.); gets egg all over himself when he drinks his breakfast; says "moo" at one point; asks, "Does it ever snow in here?" which might have been a joke but it's hard to tell sometimes with Rocky; and says Apollo "looks like a big flag."

But as the Rocky story progresses, he sounds more and more intelligent. I don't get it.

It's almost too bad there were sequels. Alone, Rocky is a great feel-good story and piece of Hollywood myth-making. And it teaches the audience a lesson that yes, even a mentally-challenged way-out-of-his prime fighter can lose a boxing match.

7 comments:

  1. I was very surprised and happy that you liked this more than you did before. The only negative in the film are the often unrealistic fight scenes where punches miss by a foot. But I don't care! I love this film and it's heart. It may be the most authentic and touching movie I have seen. I care about Rocky and all of his relationships. I love the all-time great soundtrack. And most of all, I love that he doesn't win. He just gives every bit of his body and soul (slipped that boxing title in ) to prove that he isn't the nobody everybody thought he was. The most amazing thing? This is all Sylvester Stallone. Amazing. A 20.

    other grades:
    Rocky II: 16
    Rocky III: 18
    Rocky IV: 12
    Rocky V: 13

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  2. You will not be happy with the rest of my Rocky ratings : )

    Yeah, him not winning is a big reason why I like this. And it's not only that. It's that winning doesn't even matter to him. At the end of that fight, the heavyweight championship belt, a rematch with Creed, or the results of the match he just fought are the furthest things from his mind.

    Rocky is a movie I've always kind of made fun of because it's easy, but I've always secretly liked it. I'll make fun of the rest of them though.

    Where's your Rocky VI grade? Do you not count that one? Surely you've seen it...

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  3. Is there a VI? How did I miss that?

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  4. I give this one an 18. It has a couple of slower moments, and Talia Shire is just dreadful in every scene in every movie she was ever in. This is probably her best role, and you can still see she struggles with playing someone who doesnt talk much.


    Like Cory I shall give my ratings for the other Rocky's.

    Rocky 2---12 This is treacly crap, and if you thought the first movie skirted with being unbelievable, you really reach it here at the end of this one.

    Rocky III---15 I just like the personalities in this one a lot. A bunch of cartoons. Clubber Lange, Thunderlips, Rocky himself. Its a steroid festival, that I can enjoy.

    Rocky IV---7 Goes way overboard, and really what is this crap really about?

    Rocky V---10 Rocky tries being dull. And succeeds.

    Rocky Balboa--13---Tries to be real, and almost succeeds a few times.

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  5. No patience! I'll have those other Rocky movies written about in a week. You've shot your proverbial wads now, fellows!

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  6. I'll have plenty to say on ALL of them. That was just a sneak peak.

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