Kung Fu vs. Yoga

1979 kung-fu movie

Rating: 14/20

Plot: A kung-fu dude wins himself a wife at a tournament, but she won't let him consummate the marriage until he retrieves three items for her. He and his friend run off to steal these items from an angry monk, a transgender kung-fu master, and a contortionist.

I found a dvd release of this with Dolemite on the front--a "Dolemite presents" thing--but the dvd copy I had unfortunately didn't mention Dolemite at all. The story here is fairly pedestrian although a guy running raound doing all these dangerous things just to get laid is something we can all respect. And the acting/dubbing is really as bad as it gets. "The guy with the eyebrows (no, not THAT guy with the eyebrows) is dubbed in a way that makes it seem like he's the worst actor of all time--"You're going to die! You're going to diiiiiiieeeeeee!" "Balls! Balls! I shall beat you both!" The voices used are just ridiculous. But nobody who pops this into their dvd players cares about either the acting or the story. And the fight scenes in this are creative and a lot of fun. I really like the way the protagonist and his friend work together, especially during the scene with the guy with the eyebrows. They toss each other around, kick through each other's legs. It's humorously choreographed and only slightly gay. That doesn't seem very heroic in a martial arts fight, by the way. Ganging up on somebody? Speaking of humorously gay, I think this is the first kung-fu flick I've seen that features a fight with a transvestite, all limp-wristed and as whiny as a wounded bird. That fight contains a nutsack grab accompanied with a slide whistle sound effect which makes it exactly as awesome as you think it would be. But it's the final fifteen-minute-or-so battle with the yoga guy--the reason for this goofy title, I imagine--that makes the movie. Singh, played by some guy named Dupar Singh, is this lanky quadruple-jointed contortionist, and the fight between those three has to be seen to be believed. This was Dupar Singh's only movie, another of those great one-and-dones. Appreciators of goofy kung-fu movies, the kind who get all giddy when something like Cripple Masters is brought up, won't want to miss this thing of beauty. More than likely, that scene (and perhaps the entire movie) is Youtubable.