Rating: 14/20
Plot: Douglas Quaid has an obsession with Mars and decides to invest in a virtual vacation, but things go wrong when real repressed memories of the planet come forth during the procedure. And then some bad guys are after him and Sharon Stone kicks him in the balls a couple times, so Quaid is forced to travel to Mars for real to take on an oppressive monopolizer.
Perfect example of a movie that manages to be both pretty clever and really really dumb. I've kind of grown to expect that from any movie made from a Philip K. Dick story or novel though. I'll say this though--with the allure of Sharon Stone in her prime hotness, Schwarzenegger's typically hammy performance, a really cool combination of B-movie mentality and neat special effects, and relentless action, this is never boring. There's a weirdness to the future depicted here that also keeps things interesting, from the mutants and a red-light district little person (Thumbelina, played by Debbie Lee Carrington with a sexy outfit and the action chops to make stabbing people or shooting a machine gun look realistic) to Arnold's frumpy lady costume and towel turban to three-breasted women and eyeball bloating. I don't know for sure, but I imagine this is about where Schwarzenegger's thing started to get a little tired. He enthusiastically throws himself into these roles though, and the 80's definitely wouldn't have been the same without the guy. In this, he runs around like a character in a Hitchcock mistaken-identity thriller on steroids, kills more people than many movie stars get to kill in their entire careers, and enunciate those trademark one-liners. The best (and by that, I mean the worst) is during a scene with a hyped-up-on-speed character named Benny and a drill car. Benny (Mel Johnson Jr.) gets enough ridiculous lines during that scene--seriously, who says, "I'm gonna squash you!"--but when our hero throws out a "Screw you!" pun? Schwarzenegger, please! And that's not even the most ridiculous line in the whole movie. No, that's the bizarre piece of writing that manages to be both a failed attempt at a tough guy movie line and bizarre product placement--"You'll be dead, and I'll blow this place up and be home in time for corn flakes." Seriously, actor Ronny Cox should have stopped everything during rehearsals and said, "Hey, guys. Are you sure you want me to say that in the movie?" Back to Schwarzenegger though--it's pretty bad when you're out-acted by an animatronic taxi cab driver, isn't it? The acting in this is universally terrible actually. Sharon Stone looks great, even in late-80's exercise spandex and a dated hair style, but her acting is embarrassing. And check out the scene where the characters are trying to clean up after the fucked up Rekall. Part of that isn't even the actors fault because it's very poorly written, but the whole thing is so unnatural that I just had to laugh. I did enjoy the brief performance of Roy Brocksmith as Dr. Edgemar though. I could have sworn I recognized his voice from somewhere, but I can't think of where that would be. Marshall Bell is credited with playing Kuato, but I'm not sure if that was just his abdomen the greasy puppet was emerging from or if he actually voiced the ridiculous thing. I liked the look of the puppet, but I still wonder if people in theaters laughed at the thing. "Open your miiiiiiiiiiind!" This isn't quite good enough to be classic sci-fi or anything, but it's inventiveness and wildly imaginative imagery more than make up for the stupidity in the storytelling or the awful acting. And did I mention there's a woman with three breasts, at least one that looks to be papier-mache?
If I watched this again, I'm guessing I wouldn't give it as high of a grade (16), but it was filled with energy, some original ideas and action, and a young Sharon Stone.
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