Jack Reacher

2012 action movie

Rating: 12/20

Plot: A ex-military sniper kills five people walking around the ballpark where the Pittsburgh Pirates play baseball, and instead of signing a confession, writes down the name of the titular former military cop. Unfortunately, Jack Reacher is completely off the grid. Fortunately, he pops in anyway because he has an interest in the sniper. He is hired by the defense attorney to investigate the case and find out that there it is all more complex than he thought.

OK, why didn't anybody tell me that Werner Herzog plays the main bad guy in this movie? You really didn't think that was something that I would have wanted to see? He's easily and predictably the best thing about this movie, one that tries to be so smart but has so many of those dumb big action movie moments. Herzog's The Zec has weird eyes, and apparently, the actor actually bit off 90% of his fingers for the role. (Edit: I have learned through research that Herzog did not actually bite off any of his fingers. It does seem like something he might have done though.) And the gritted-teeth enunciation that is actually Herzog's normal voice just fits action movie villain so perfectly. He's cool and gets to be cool in about five different scenes, so it's beyond just a cameo. There are some good moments in this. The first 8 minutes are completely silent and feature a creepy sniper cam and absolutely no Tom Cruise, and that part's pretty good. I always think I like my action heroes to be really intelligent, but Cruise is a little too smug here. It just all seems so cute, and pieces fall into place a little too neatly for this story to really feel like something I can trust. Throw in a father-daughter relationship, Jack Reacher wearing clothes straight out of a Goodwill, some trash-talk exchanges with some idiots at a bar, a weird trip to an auto parts store that is the exact opposite of inconspicuous (I guess that would be conspicuous?), a really silly scene at a bus stop following a really cool car chase, and some nonsense at a shooting range when we first get to meet Duvall's character who never made any sense to me anyway. Oh, and then a scene at "Jeb's" house that threatened to turn into a Three Stooges routine. It's all so completely silly. I would not be interested in watching Jack Reacher II (I assume that'll be made) because I don't think Werner Herzog will be in it.

Question: I saw the big clue in this movie, the thing that's sort of a turning point for Jack Reacher in his investigation, coming from a mile away. And I'm a dumb guy. Now, was it supposed to be obvious and am I a dumb guy for thinking that the big clue was a little too obvious or was the whole thing just a little too obvious? I assume this makes sense to anybody who watched this movie. I don't know. Maybe I should delete this whole paragraph.

The pornographic equivalent for this one, by the way, is so easy--Jack Reach-Around. I would see that movie and any sequels, with or without Tom Cruise.