1971 sermon with documented incidents
Rating: 2/20 (Fred: 4/20; Carrie: 2/20; Josh: 666/20; Libby: Fuck you, Shane and Josh/20)
Plot: Preacher man Estus W. Pirkle warns his congregation about the dangers of not living for the Lord, the consequence likely being that Communists will take over America and kill and rape our children.
Glorious religious propaganda from the early 70's! If that's your thing, this is your thing. And if you're a fan of Negativland, you'll recognize Estus W. Pirkle's voice from "Christianity is Stupid" on the Escape from Noise album ("The loudspeaker spoke up and said...Christianity is stupid. Communism is good. Give up. Give up.") and probably giggle with recognition. An hour-long sermon from Pirkle would be difficult to endure despite his Southern Baptist preacher guy cadence and tendency to say things like "Gramma skoos" or stare straight into your soul hypnotizingly from your screen. And you will be hypnotized and possibly even converted to Christianity as this thing ends and Pirkle repeats, "Won't you come?" about fifteen times. Luckily, Pirkle's ramblings about dancing, the seven erogenous zones, and drug addiction are interrupted with "documented incidents" showing some really nice C-movie death scenes. This is a Ron Ormond production, and Ormond did exploitative movies that were heavy on the violence and 60's gore before surviving a plane crash and dedicating his career to God. Thankfully, the macabre tendencies stuck around so that we get to see a bunch of unfortunate people with ketchup all over them after the titular footmen (I think?) have done their damage or a great scene where a kid, one later seen alive and well in the audience, has a bamboo shoot shoved in his ear and stars vomiting. The latter is one of the best things I will see in my entire life, and the very adult-sounding puking sound effect is still reverberating in my head. Another great scene involves Commies, one which looks a lot like Burt Reynolds, giving candy to children. The Communists sure are nasty, but this is never really scary or believable because the Russian accents are some of the worst you'll ever here. That's the only thing that is unrealistic about all this though. My favorite bad acting in this comes from the mother of the female protagonist, a gal named Judy trying to decide between Jesus and a guy with sideburns and his own car. She's played by a woman who is nearly unintelligible. "Jibbs, I gumpoor, pooz come bud church." That's one of her lines, I think. I thought this was great fun, but if this sort of dangerous propaganda bothers or scares you, you might have a reaction similar to Libby's. She seemed a little angry afterward.
That confusing title is Biblical. Jeremiah 12:5, if you want some context.
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