Rating: 15/20
Plot: A former jewel thief receives a gift, a robot helper, from his son. He wants nothing to do with it initially until he realizes it can be trained to help him revive his former career. They become BFF's.
Two women play "robot performers" in this movie recommended by a guy I work with. The robot looked about the size of Twiki from the Buck Rogers t.v. show which may explain why I was so horny while watching this. Twiki, if I haven't mentioned it before, was the first robot I wanted to have a sexual relationship with which I think makes me both a homosexual and a robosexual. Those thoughts can be excused because I was just a kid. The current horniness makes sense because the "robot performers" are female. It's now become a life goal to have a menage a trois with Rachael Ma and Dana Morgan, first because it's always been a fantasy of mine to make love to two women who have to be under 4'5" and second because that would be a great story to tell my grandchildren. "C'mere, kids. Did Gramps ever tell you about the time he had sex with both robot performers from Robot and Frank at the same time?" They'll probably have never heard of Robot and Frank because they won't read my blog either, and that's too bad for them because it's a pretty good movie. Any movie with a line like "Did you take a fizzy bath balm, you son of a bitch?" has to be pretty good. That line belonged to former Saturday Night Live person Ana Gasteyer who I imagine looks like an Amazon compared to Rachael Ma and Dana Morgan. Susan Sarandon's also in this, and the suddenly omnipresent Peter Sarsgaard provides the voice of the robot which I'll admit is a bit of a boner kill, even more than Ana Gasteyer. Frank Langella's the titular human, and it's another one of those good old person performances, mainly because a lot of what he does is so subtle. He's curmudgeonly fun, and as weird as it sounds to say this, he had good rapport with the robot. Some of the dialogue's cute if not funny, like when the robot says that it's a pleasure to meet him and Frank answers, "How do you know?" I also liked when the robot said, "Warning: Do not molest me," which definitely had to have helped fuel my dreams later on. The sci-fi in this is very mild. It takes place in the not-too-distant future. There's a little satirical stuff with the fate of a library, there's a really tiny car, and there's this music that combines electronica with chamber music. I am glad to hear that the slang term "crackerjack" will survive in the near future. There are also some Don Quixote parallels, and I should know because I was supposed to read that book once. There are some strange twists here that would be hard to accept if Langella's performance didn't sell it all so well. Nice little sleeper here.
I really hope Rachael Ma and Dana Morgan aren't the type of people who Google themselves.
This might be my creepiest blog post.
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