Rating: 15/20
Plot: A 13-year-old future lesbian who lives alone can't seem to keep her guests alive.
Man, I dig that poster although it is a little misleading. There isn't a single teddy bear in this movie. It also makes this look like it's going to be a horror movie, but it's really not. I don't even think I'd call it a thriller. It might be a black comedy actually. My favorite Jodie Foster is the young Jodie Foster. I definitely prefer her 70's output to the stuff she's done as an adult. I like how her character's story here begins in medias res. Foster's got filthy feet in this movie, but she pulls off smart titular "little" teenager effortlessly and there's just something magnetic about her even if this isn't what you'd call a pitch perfect performance. Martin Sheen's pretty awful, and his character makes almost no sense. The trick or treating, the pumpkin stuff, an attempted groping, a desire to see Jodie Foster's hamster, an ass slap. And he has hair like a Baldwin. Heck, this is probably what made Jodie Foster decide she wanted nothing to do with men. Sheen's wacky, but this is the perfect example of one of those movies where the flaws are what makes things interesting an memorable. The limping random hopped-up magician randomly cycling by with his top hat and cape, the latter which just has to be dangerous to wear on a bicycle ride. The 70's cop music, terrible anyway and really out of place here. A scene with an umbrella and a reference to "Mary 'Fucking' Poppins," silly but probably necessary for a colorfully tense moment in a few scenes later. Poor Gordon the hamster and his demise, shit that just doesn't make sense but a scene you'll not forget. A poor disguise and a subsequent scene that might have you reaching for your pipe that is not a pipe or maybe your cigar that is only a cigar, tapping your chin with your index finger and saying, "Hmmmmm." And a crucial scene featuring tea cups seems ridiculous, but you have to love how the music picks up there. Appreciate that ambiguity at the end. What exactly was the plan there, Jodie Foster? It's a cool little movie with a dumb title, a movie that is more intriguing than it is good but just intriguing enough to be good. When you watch this again, listen for that hamster wheel. It's a great sound effect.
Would Jodie Foster Ass Slap be a good name for a band?
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