Lucy

2014 sci-fi movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: After a bag of blue drugs breaks in her abdomen, Lucy suddenly has the ability to use more of her brain than the average person. She uses it to become the main character in a pretentious movie.

Purple blobs, shots of random animals including a metaphorical mouse with a metaphorical cheesy trap, and an over-the-top villain who isn't afraid to get blood on his shirt. I was done with this within a few minutes and probably wouldn't have watched the rest of this if it wasn't for Scarlett Johansson. The whole experience might have been worth it to watch the special effects take over Johansson's body once those drugs are unleashed. She jerks around like she's in a 21st Century version of a Lionel Richie video [Note: "Dancing on the Ceiling"]. Of course, none of that makes any sense. Maybe my problem with this movie is the result of me trying to take things too seriously. There's a sort-of bloated philosophical message or two that almost feels like it's more important than the movie's story or its characters. It's not enough substance to make you forgive Luc Besson's grating ultra-modern style here or the scientifically-incoherent story. No matter how much Morgan Freeman's character tries to explain what's going on, you just don't buy it. And that's surprising because usually you can trust anything Morgan Freeman says because he's old and has that voice. And hell, he's a penguin expert! So when he tells us that dolphins are smarter than people, you have to believe him. And that style? It's hyperkinetic and often ugly. Do you like that modern zippy editing? Fast-motion, time-lapse stuff? Besson tries every trick in the modern action flick book, but it all feels cliched and boring. And there's more stock footage in this than in a 50's B-movie, but I won't complain about that because it did show a few animals doing it. During a 10% montage, things got Koyaanisqatsi-esque, but it definitely wasn't in a good way. I did enjoy yet another score by Eric Serra, however, and during that montage, he's got a little Philip Glass thing going on. As much as I've liked Scarlett Johansson in recent roles, I thought she was pretty awful here. I still enjoyed watching her, of course, but poorly-written lines combined with a dumb story that thought it was a smart story combined with a director who must have told her to act like a robot in some scenes made the performance almost laughable. There's one scene where she's acting kind of like a robot bird, and a phone conversation she has with her mother was really embarrassing. "Mom, I feel everything." Or, "I remember the taste of your milk in my mouth." Later, she says, "Can you believe that I can remember the sound of my own bones growing?" I couldn't believe that somebody that perfect would actually agree to say a line like that.

There's a scene with a monkey that I wanted to like a lot--a dual-reference to both a classic work of art involving fingers and an earlier scene in the movie. Unfortunately, I thought the monkey might have been Andy Serkis. God damn that guy. It wasn't him, by the way, but just the thought of him annoyed me.

I did find a new favorite actor name while watching the credits for this--Wolfgang Pissors. So getting to read that name and watching Scarlett Johansson writhe around a little bit. I guess it wasn't all bad.