Rating: 12/20
Plot: Some thieves run into some witches.
First, the title. Right now, I can't think of a worse title. Witching and Bitching? Nobody wants to see a movie called that. I don't know this director, Alex de la Iglesia (Alex of the Church), but I'm intrigued by this enough to check out more of his stuff. This is really multiple films in one, for better or worse. It starts like a darkly comedic heist film, very vibrant and modern. That jumpy modern editing distracted me, but it's hard to argue with a golden street-performing Jesus with a shotgun. Or that Minnie Mouse who looked a little like a stuffed animal you might have won at a carnival after it spent five or so years in your attic. Or that Invisible Man whose slapsticky collision with a pole made me laugh out loud and then immediately feel silly about it. Oh, sorry. This is a Spanish film, so it's actually Hombre Invisible. Hombre Invisible and Minnie Mouse are both played by little people, Nacho Braun and Fabian Augusto Gomez. Now, Nacho Braun might be the best name I've ever heard in my entire life, but knowing that it's the name of a little fellow? That makes it even better. The goofball scenario during the first third of the film, with its heist and its car chasin' and shoot-'em-ups, is fun enough, but things get even wackier in the second third with skirt-lifting old women and weird guys suggesting that "The Devil has no tail and his pussy's like a cave." I wonder about the translation for that subtitle actually. Another character claims, "I'm not afraid of witches, but I'm afraid of bad motherfuckers," which I think would look great on a tombstone. There's suggested cannibalism, and probably one of the most horrifying bathroom scenes I've ever seen. And I've experienced troughs at both Wrigley Field and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway! During this second chunk of Witching and Bitching (uggh), things seem to be threatening to transform into Evil Dead II-esque shenanigans which I, of course, would have welcomed. Unfortunately, it evolves into a third act that doesn't make a lot of sense and just keeps getting uglier and uglier. CGI effects get worse and worse, and the whole thing turns into an incomprehensible mess. With lard. This thing's in it:
No, it's still not as horrifying as urinating in a trough at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, but it's not pleasant. As an effect, it reminded me of something you'd see in a live-action Scooby Doo movie, and I don't mean that in a good way. The movie kind of wears out its welcome by the end, and some its best ideas--like the father/son dynamic--aren't fully realized. It's a semi-entertaining mess of a movie though.
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