Special Feature: Top Ten Movies I'm Most Looking Forward To (2016 Edition)

I compiled a list like this last year, and it was enormously popular. So I thought I'd do it again.

This is heavily researched, as opposed to most of the drivel I throw on here, and by "heavily researched," I of course mean that I spent a couple hours poking around the Internet to figure out what movies were coming out in 2016. Most of these are upcoming although a few are things that I might have missed. I had fun putting this together, especially since I learned about some upcoming releases that I had no idea were even coming out.

None of this will surprise any of my longtime blog readers. Enjoy, and let me know what you might be looking forward to in the comments.

Movies I'm Most Looking Forward To

The Disaster Artist, 2016


If only that was the real poster for James Franco's adaptation of Greg Sestero's memoir about the making of The Room. This is the only repeat from last year's list, and I still think the whole thing could go either way. It could be a bad movie about the making of a bad movie or it could end up being a great movie about the making of a bad movie. Either way, I'm enough of a fan of The Room to have to put this on my list.

Moonwalkers, 2015


More trepidation as this has gotten mixed reviews, but a filmed version of a conspiracy theory is a really cool idea. I'm actually pretty sure this is not going to be a good movie, but from what I've heard, I don't think it will completely bore me. Ron Perlman and Harry Potter's friend, as you can tell from the poster, are in this. That poster might also have stolen its idea from Warner Brothers. I've been staring at that thing for a while now looking for Porky.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Movie, 2016


In case you missed it, there was a new Star Wars movie in 2015. It was good, even better than the prequels! I'm not sold that the Disney folk should be putting out a Star Wars movie every year and wonder how these stand-alone movies will work, but this one sounds better and better to me the more I hear about it. I like the idea of a grittier Star Wars flick, a Death Star plans heist movie with a motley crew of heroes. And Darth Vader might be in it? Well, if that doesn't harden the old nipples, I don't know what will!

Flooding with Love for the Kid, 2007


So this is one guy filming his version of Rambo all by himself in a studio apartment with a budget of 96 dollars. Like I'm not going to do everything I can to watch this.

The Young and Prodigious T.S. Spivet, 2013


You'd think that a guy who is a huge fan of Delicatessen, Amelie, and City of Lost Children who also happens to have a music blog would know what Jean-Pierre Jeunet's up to at all times, but I completely missed this 2013 release. This movie's about a young cartographer who travels across America by train to accept an award for a perpetual motion machine he created. Let that one sink in, Jeunet fans! A Jeunet movie with a perpetual motion machine? Come on!

Mascots, 2016


You had me at "new Christopher Guest movie," but making it a Christopher Guest movie about mascots in some sort of mascot competition? Whoa, Molly! (Is this an expression? It should be!) This is Guest's first movie since 2006's For Your Consideration which I'm not sure I've ever seen. That's ten freaking years, Christopher Guest! I'm a sucker for grown people wearing goofy costumes anyway, and since I'm a fan of the mockumentary format that Guest should probably get a lot more credit for helping create, this figures to be right up my alley.

Ip Man 3, 2016


Ip Man is one of my favorite kung-fu movies from the last few years. Ip Man 2 disappointed. Ip Man 3 has Mike Tyson and Mike Tyson's awesome face tattoo in it. A preview for this came out recently, and the movie looks awesome. I'll watch 1 and 2 before I see 3, and I might consider even seeing this one in a theater, probably because I've been looking for an opportunity to flamboyantly pump my fists in public for a while now.

Pee Wee's Big Holiday, 2016

Another Netflix release! Is this going to be closer to Pee Wee's Big Adventure or Big Top Pee Wee? And is there going to be a sneaky public indecency gag in there somewhere? And why do all Pee Wee Herman movies have to have "big" in the title? I think this will be a lot of fun. I might have to have a party once this is released and provide cheese dip of some kind for my friends.

The Lobster, 2016


From Yorgos Lanthimos, the director of the brilliantly odd Dogtooth, comes this, a movie about people taken into a hotel where they either have to find a mate or be transformed into an animal and sent off into the woods. And this reminds me that I didn't ever seen Alps, another Lanthimos movie that also looked good. When I first read about this movie, my immediate thought was, "Yeah, this sounds like a shane-type movie."

Entertainment, 2015


This is Gregg Turkington in his "America's funnyman" Neil Hamburger character ("Why did God create Domino's pizza? To punish mankind for his complacency in allowing the Holocaust to happen." Zing!) in a movie written and directed by Rick Alverson, the guy who made The Comedy with Tim Heidecker. The Comedy was wonderful and difficult, and it's one that sticks in my memory long after I watched it. This promises to have a similar vibe, and with Neil Hamburger wandering around a desert, this just has to be good.

Hail, Caesar!, 2016


We're just a few weeks away from a new Coen Brothers' release, the kind of thing that is like Christmas for some people. This looks funny, and it has Scarlett Johansson playing a mermaid. Also, it's got a title with punctuation, and Coen Brother movies with punctuation are always good. Punctuation and George Clooney! This has a terrific cast and looks like it could be great quirky fun like Lebowski. Or maybe it will be like the unfortunate misstep that is The Ladykillers.

Endless Poetry, 2016


So we get no Alejandro Jodorowsky for a couple decades, and suddenly we're blessed with a pair of autobiographical films within a couple years of each other? Awesome! This is a direct sequel to his Dance of Reality, continuing the magically realistic glimpse at his life. If there are dwarves and golden showers, I'll be pleased. So glad Jodorowsky is back and just as adventurous as he nears the age of 90.

Anomalisa, 2015


Charlie Kaufman + existential comedy + stop-motion animation + puppet sex = something I definitely want to see. I have a feeling that this might be my favorite thing I see in 2016.

The Forbidden Room, 2015


Well, it's a Guy Maddin movie, and I'm not sure anything else needs to be said. This one's an anthology film where Maddin takes stabs at what "lost films" from the silent era were all about based only on their titles.

The Insects, 2016


And last but not least--especially since these are roughly in order--is Jan Svankmajer's upcoming movie. Svankmajer (The Svank as we cool kids call him) released his last one 5 years ago, and he's on an every-five-year pace. He's another guy like Jodorowsky who I'm glad is still kicking, and like Maddin, this one looks back at the silent era. Sort of. Here, Svankmajer basing this on a play from 1922. It's a dark comedy that pokes fun at contemporary society. And it'll have stop-motion insects. That's just a guess.

Other Films That Intrigue Me But Not Enough to Get Pictures

Finding Dory: I couldn't put this in the top ten list above because I haven't even seen Pixar's last dinosaur movie.

Captain America: Civil War: My favorites of these Marvel superhero movies have been the Captain America ones; my worries have to do with the poor historical track record of third movies and how this Marvel universe is all tying together, ambitiously but potentially messily.

Batman vs. Superman: This might be an expensive disaster, and I didn't like the Man of Steel movie, but I'm still curious. It looks like Eisenberg's settling into a Nic Cage thing.

Deadpool, Suicide Squad: Two more of the 19 or so superhero comic book movies coming out this year, but at least these look unique. Well, the latter does. Deadpool annoys me more the more I see of it.

I Saw the Light: Tom Hiddleston in a Hank Williams biopic

Jungle Book: I had no interest in this at all until I saw Scarlett Johansson is voicing Kaa. Now I'll be watching it with the most confused boner I've ever had.

Creed: I've heard nothing but good things. Hopefully, Stallone's mom makes a cameo appearance!


The Founder: A darkly-comedic biopic about Ray Kroc starring Michael Keaton.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon: Sword of Destiny: This was on last year's list. I'm actually starting to lose interest. Note the title change.

Tickled: This is a documentary about competitive tickling that apparently goes into unexpected territories. It looks really fascinating.

The Neon Demon: Nicholas Winding Refn horror movie that for whatever reason makes me think of Showgirls

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children: I kind of liked the book. I'm just not sure what Tim Burton's going to do to it.

Neruda: Pablo Neruda is one of my favorite poets. Hopefully, this biopic features a scene where he has sexual intercourse with either a fish or a tomato.

BFG: Big Friendly Giant, if you're unschooled in the works of Roald Dahl. Spielberg's at the helm, for better or for worse. Dahl on the screen is sometimes great and sometimes not so great.

A Monster Calls: Well, this one has a tree monster voiced by Liam Neeson.

Moana: The next Disney singing-princess movie, this one with a Polynesian setting. I'm more interested in seeing how the mix of 2-D and 3-D animation works. Otherwise, I'm not sure I'd be all that interested.

Swiss Army Man: Paul Dano's stuck on an island and he finds a dead Daniel Radcliffe. Hopefully, there's a volleyball.

Colossal: A monster movie with a psychological subtext from Nacho Vigalondo, the guy who did Timecrimes.

Knight of Cups: Or any of the handful of Terrence Malick movies coming out this year. Wait a second. That can't be right? Terence Malick has multiple movies coming out this year? Isn't he the guy who makes a movie every ten years or so?

Dog Eat Dog: Another chance for Paul Schrader and Nicolas Cage, this time with Willem Dafoe's help. Think about that for a moment. Cage and Dafoe on the screen at the same time. Can you imagine those two having a conversation about a Youtube video where a cat plays a keyboard? I imagine that as I'm going to sleep nearly every night.

The Fundamentals of Caring: A movie where Paul Rudd has to take care of a kid with muscular dystrophy doesn't sound like my thing, but it's written by Rob Burnett, longtime head-writer for Letterman and co-creator of Ed, one of my favorite television shows ever.

The Trap: I know. I just called the last Harmony Korine movie I saw (Trash Humpers) the worst movie that I saw last year. Hoping this will be more like Spring Breakers and less like all the other shit of his that I've seen.

A Cure for Wellness: I usually like Gore Verbinski, and here, he's tackling the horror genre again.

Green Room: From the maker of Blue Ruin, Jeremy Saulnier. I liked that movie although I'm confused about why Saulnier thinks all of his movie titles have to start with a color then have an R-word.

Eddie and the Eagle: Cool Runnings, but in England and with a ski jumper. This is based on an odd true story, and it looks pretty good.

On the Milky Road: Kusturica!

Kubo and the Two Strings: From Laika, the Caroline and Boxtrolls people

The Bad Batch: A "dystopian love story" with cannibals that is the follow-up to Ana Lily Amirpour's A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night, a movie that I've been accused of underrating. Jim Carrey and Keanu Reeves are in this.

Paterson: Adam Driver is in this. One thing I noticed while researching--Adam Driver is apparently going to be in everything. Get ready for a whole lot of Adam Driver, people. I picked this Adam Driver movie for the list because it's a Jim Jarmusch movie. According to imdb, it's a movie "about a bus driver and a poet."

Silence: Scorsese's follow-up to Wolf of Wall Street, this is a movie about Christianity and China. Oh, and Adam Driver is in it.

Deathgasm: Well, I like the title anyway.

Anything I'm leaving off, readers?


4 comments:

  1. you forgot the residents documentary coming out this year.
    there are going to be nonseries star wars now? and this crap is going to be marketed to me on a 24/7 basis? and 40 somethings are going to have to buy it all? time for me to go live in the woods.
    flooding with love... sounds fabulous.
    looking forward to mascots. for your consideration was awful.
    why did god create dominos pizza? comedy gold. really you are supporting horrible right wing causes every time you buy a pizza there. and choking down a bad pizza.
    i just saw ladykillers. i will save my comments for the blog post. remember scarlet johanson was already in a coen brother movie that was pretty bad.
    i better be invited to shane's big pee wee party.
    do you still have readers?

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  2. Cory reads intermittently. Barry poked his head in. Josh reads sometimes, or he at least notices when I haven't been writing. Larry's around, silent but deadly. And Rubber Duck reads, at least sometimes. The statcounter thing tells me that I have way more readers per day than I ever though, and that there are more return visitors, too. I think I might be some of those though.

    They've Marvelized Star Wars now. There's going to be one every year with the non-series ones being in the intervening years between the "episode" ones. I don't know about any plans after Episode IX, but I know they've got this X-Wing Fighter one, a Han Solo one, and (I think) a Boba Fett one.

    RE: the marketing...yeah, things went far past annoying with the Star Wars marketing. You couldn't throw a light saber without hitting a Star Wars advertisement. I don't think it'll affect you any more than normal advertising though, so I don't know why you'd have to go live in the woods. Unless you're just looking for an excuse.

    Pee Wee had a trailer last week, a very quick 30 second thing. First, the guy still looks exactly like he did in the 80's. Second, it looked fun. I'm more excited than I should be.

    Yeah, that Neil Hamburger. Good stuff. See if 'The Comedy' is still on Netflix. It's at least interesting.

    I didn't even know what Coen brother movie you were referring to that has Scarlett Johansson in it. Some boyfriend I am! But you're talking about The Man Who Wasn't There? You thought that was "pretty bad"? I gave it a 17/20. Here: http://shane-movies.blogspot.com/2010/06/man-who-wasnt-there.html

    Spoiler: I enjoyed watching The Ladykillers, but that's the worst Coen brother movie.

    ReplyDelete
  3. maybe you didnt hear... residents documentary!
    ladykillers is not the worst. there are a bunch we dont agree on that i really didnt like but i think you will agree that "destroy after reading" thing was an abomination worse than ladykillers.
    "you couldn't throw a light saber without hitting a star wars advertisement" consider that mine now.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, yeah. I thought I'd replied RE: the Residents documentary. I am looking forward to seeing that one and neglected to mention it.

    I would have to watch BURN after Reading again before passing judgment actually. I mean, it has Malcovich.

    You can definitely have that light saber thing if you really want it.

    ReplyDelete