The Commuter

2018 action thriller

Rating: 11/20

Plot: An former-cop-turned-insurance-salesman is having a bad day when Vera Farmiga gives him an offer he can't refuse--to find somebody on his commute who doesn't belong and collect a cool 100,000 smackaroos. He probably should have just read his Steinbeck instead.

The kind of thriller that grows more preposterous as it continues down the tracks, The Commuter could have been called Murder on the Incoherent Express. That seemed a little bit funnier in my head. This really is largely incoherent though, and when it's not incoherent, it's predictable. There's nothing new here, and it's not like the old is even done particularly well. Liam Neeson is starting to get a little too old to growl out lines about his family, minor action sequences and one gigantic explosive action sequence are too ludicrous to buy, and the twists and turns in the narrative work about as well as a commuter train making 90 degree turns. Close-quartered train fisticuffs nearly work, but the dizzying editing distracts and makes you wish you could just stare at a motionless Vera Farmiga instead.

Spotted on a wall at the station--a poster for Paddington 2, the movie I probably should have seen instead of this one.

Seriously, watch this movie and then try to convince me that it makes any sense at all. If you can, I'll leave 25 dollars and 30 cents in an envelope hidden in a restroom for you.