Who Killed Captain Alex?

2010 Ugandan action movie

Rating: 4/20

Plot: Captain Alex leads an elite squad to take down the Tiger Mafia. That is, until he's killed. After that, his brother--the Ugandan Bruce Lee--gets involved. Action movie!

I've seen a lot of movies in the more-than-a-decade I've written about movies, but I've not seen anything like this Ugandan action movie. As an ultra-low-budget action movie with barely any plot at all, this is nothing new. There are some Birdemic-esque special effects with blood spurts and some helicopter, a helicopter that at one point even flies backwards. There's a ridiculous training montage. There's the Ugandan Bruce Lee (Bruce U, according to our excited narrator [more on him in a bit]), and as a matter of fact, everybody in Uganda seems to know kung fu. There's some terrifically awful music choices, all lifted from elsewhere and including this recurring karaoke version of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose," never used in what you'd say is an appropriate way. I mean, if there is an appropriate way to use a karaoke version of Seal's "Kiss from a Rose" in an action movie.

What makes this memorable is the use of V.J. Emmie, a friend of the director who narrates as a "video joker" in order to help translate the movie for English-speaking audiences and provide some commentary. He interrupts the action frequently, laughs or throws in a "Mamma mia!" when people get shot, reminds us all that this is indeed a movie (including one moment when he just repeats the word "Movie!" over and over again during one action sequence), reminds us that the good guy characters are commandos by saying "Commandos!" over and over, makes fun of the actions, makes cracks about eating German people, occasionally provides his own sound effects, lets us know when there's a "supa kicker" or a "supa rider" onscreen, makes a plea for us all to see another movie called Bad Black, calls a bunch of birds "dinosaurs," invents a new euphemism for sexual intercourse ("beat the rat serious"), turns the thing into a damn musical at one point, and praising the Tiger Mafia's choice in panties. He's awesome, and I'd love him to record Video Joker commentary for any Marvel movie I'm about to watch.

The best-worst actor in this thing is Sserunay Ernest whose best moment is when he destroys a television while crying.

Action movie!

I'll have to check out more in Nabwana I.G.G.'s filmography sometime even though it's the kind of movie that makes me feel like less of a man. This, by the way, almost doesn't exist at all as he had to erase the original movie from his computer in order to make the follow-up. This movie was made for two hundred dollars, and you really have to admit that Nabwana I.G.G. managed to do a lot with what it currently costs to see a movie and buy popcorn and a cola.