Bad Movie Club: Twisted Pair


2018 sci-fi wackiness

Bad Movie Rating: 5/5 (J.D.: 5/5; Fred: 4/5; Josh: 5/5; Tami: 5/5)

Rating: 2/20

Plot: I'm not the best person to answer this question.

This is completely incomprehensible, but thankfully, it seems like Neil Breen's still got that magic touch. I worry that the Las Vegas real estate agent will become more self-aware and start to make bad movies on purpose, but that doesn't seem to be the case. With Twisted Pair, his fifth "movie," Breen's lack of self-awareness once again combines forces with his self-importance to create something that I'm wondering if he even understands. He's got his usual targets (corporate greed) and some of his usual vices (I don't remember any fancy cars in this one though), but with this one, he's got more special effects at his disposal. He had promised a "bigger" movie with more of a budget. He'd know, but the explosions, the bloody wounds, and the flight or super-jump movement that one of his characters does repeatedly don't succeed in making this seem like a movie with a bigger budget. Or a budget. The jumping thing reminded me of when Blue from Blue's Clues skiddoos into pictures except Neil Breen doesn't rotate. Still, he's come a long way from that monster mask in I Am Here. . . .Now.

What am I saying? No, he hasn't.

You might notice that I typed "one of his characters" up there. That's right, Breen plays doppelgangers in this one. It's not as confusing as it could have been because one of the titular pair has the worst fake beard I believe I've ever seen in a movie. Ok, scratch that. It's still pretty confusing. Along with the fake beard, you also get these decorative cats that keep moving for some reason, a fairy girl muse with spiky shoes, gratuitous partial nudity (one of those aforementioned vices), fake mice, lots of guns, slowed-down garbled voices. Breen must have been watching Twin Peaks: The Return. Breen's convoluted story involves space travel, superhuman powers, Artificial Intelligence, terrorism, and romance. It's a glorious Breenian mess of what I imagine Neil Breen loves and what he can afford to buy from dollar stores.

Breen plays both of the characters in his usual unnatural way he plays all of his characters, the kind where you wonder how he's a real estate agent because he doesn't seem to have any idea how human interaction works. Here, he's playing "hybrid A.I." characters (whatever the hell that means), so the unnatural cadence and inability to interact naturally almost fits in that Arnold Terminator kind of way. The other bad-acting stand-out is Denise Bellini who plays the agency director. But to be honest, it's really hard for bad acting to stand out in a movie like this.

My favorite shot is the one where one of the Breens gets to hang out with an eagle.

Breen spelled "detective" wrong in the closing credits. Twice.

2 comments:

  1. I always like it when you have a section of your favorite comments from the BMC group that night. I'll have to go back through the thread and add my favorites below here in a little bit...or tomorrow...or some other time.

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  2. Have I done that? I don't remember doing that, and like my Movies-a-Go-Go things, I can't imagine a lot of it would make sense out of context.

    But definitely do that! It'll give me a chuckle.

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