Pokemon Detective Pikachu

2019 Pokeman movie

Rating: 8/20

Plot: Who cares?

No, I'm not the audience for Pokemon Detective Pikachu. The Pokemen craze hit when I was too old to care, and none of my children really were all that interested in them. Before this movie, I could name exactly one Pokeman, and his name is in the title. Or is Kirby a Pokeman? Squirtle? He's one, right? Maybe I could name two or three.

Very likely, there were references that went over my head with this movie. Having no emotional attachment to this franchise, it's likely that I missed out on some very exciting moments, recognizing a particular Pokeman and being able to point at the screen and say, "Look! It's a Turtlebugger brought to life!" The family next to me seemed to be getting into it. Well, they were all giggling a lot. I think they might have come in a little high actually. Maybe if I had watched this under the influence, I would have gotten more from the experience.

The positives: The created world in which Pokemen and people interact looked really good. There's spotty CGI in a baffling action sequence later in the movie, but the early scenes where we're just walking around this city (Urine City, I think it's called?) was strangely beautiful.

That is the only positive I can think of. The characters weren't engaging, the storytelling somehow managed to be simultaneously predictable and illogical, and the action scenes were really confusing. I didn't feel like I understood much of what was happening in this, partly because I was on my phone during some of the movie. When I read a plot synopsis on Wikipedia, I realized that I actually didn't miss a thing, however.

But wait, Shane. Wasn't the voice work of the charming and hilarious Ryan Reynolds a positive as well? No, not really. It kind of seemed like he was phoning it in, and I never really thought the voice matched the little yellow fellow.

I should note that I watched this in 3D, a total accident because I apparently read about as well as my middle school students. It gave me a bit of a headache and put me in a bad mood. I mean, if I'm honest, I probably came into the theater with the bad mood, but the 3D didn't really help.

When I wrote about Yi Yi, I said I was done writing about movies. I guess that was a lie. I didn't want to disappoint Rae Lyn, I suppose. I probably should have kept my word though because I can't think of how this write-up for this movie I shouldn't have bothered watching in the first place is going to enrich anybody's life.

Writing this has become my second biggest recent regret. The first is not walking out of Pokemon Detective Pikachu after the first half an hour.