The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot

2019 old-man action movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: See the title.

Spoiler alert: Don't read the title of this movie before you see it or you'll know everything that happens. Well, not everything, I guess, because there's a wacky surprise in there somewhere.

Sam Elliott's character tells somebody that his actions in World War II were "Nothing like the comic book you want it to be." When you start a movie called The Man Who Killed Hitler and Then the Bigfoot, you have certain expectations. I expected this to be pretty goofy and at least a little bit of fun, but writer/director Robert D. Krzykowski had other ideas and establishes a very quiet and very serious tone early. Mostly, that's maintained, enhanced by a big, often irritating score. This is a movie that has something to say about heroism and how heroes are often forced to live with a curse. It doesn't establish exactly what that curse is--peaking early, living with regret, realizing that your life's highlight isn't nearly as significant as you were led to believe it would be--but when we meet Elliott's character, he's an old, tired, cursed man just living out the rest of his days with his dog and his memories, the latter which he'd probably rather not get into. It's like he's got an albatross around his neck, but instead of being doomed to relate his story to everybody he meets like Coleridge's mariner, he is just doomed to remember it at all. Slow zooms, static shots where the character isn't doing much of anything or just staring at himself in the mirror, and lots of stops and starts where Elliott's character almost does something and then doesn't do it at all add to this kind of languidity.

This might not match your expectations based on the title, but Elliott's performance is probably exactly what you'd expect it to be. And that saves the movie from being a complete waste. He does spend a lot of time looking in mirrors, even remarking on a "mirror clock" at a barber shop at one point. There's one moment that stylistically doesn't fit in with anything that comes before it, a moment when he gets to choose weapons from an arsenal. He picks a gun, a scope, and a knife, and then there's a quick zoom, the kind of thing that would have fit in with something like those Machete movies and the kind of thing I would have guessed this was going for. He also sniffs Bigfoot's poop and has a conversation with an owl.

Please don't think my disappointment has anything to do with my expectations not being met. In better hands, a movie with this tone and these themes could have been very good. Here, the pacing is just off, the story often moving as slowly as a Texan's drawl. There are moments that drag--Elliott getting a shave that seems to last fifteen minutes or a conversation about hot cocoa and marshmallows that I never thought would end. Flashbacks show a pair of stories from Elliott's character's past--the assassination alluded to in the first half of the title and a love story with a teacher. When the former's big moment finally arrives, there's a cool-looking weapon, but the death itself doesn't have the resonance that it should. I suppose that's part of the point though. The relationship with the teacher is something that could have been dropped entirely without losing any character development or any emotional impact. I looked over a plot synopsis on Wikipedia because I thought I missed something at one point, and that love story isn't even mentioned at all. That's how important that is, I guess.

Once this gets to the big climactic fight with the cryptid, the action is ludicrous enough that Krzykowski probably should have just figured out a way to have it take place off-screen. The tone drastically changes at this point, too. I think the turning point might have been that conversation with the owl. Things get really silly, including some sick-sounding bone cracks and unexpected vomit, but Bigfoot looks very cheap. When Elliott kills him, there's supposed to be an emotional impact there, too, but I definitely wasn't feeling it.

I'd rather not discuss anything that happens after that. I wouldn't want to spoil the stupid surprise, and just thinking about the last ten minutes of this movie irritates me.

This is a movie that lacks personality and is only recommended for fans of Sam Elliott's mustache.