Pilgrim

2019 Thanksgiving horror movie

Rating: 5/20

Plot: A lady hires some Thanksgiving re-enactors to help her make Thanksgiving magical for her family. It doesn't go very well.

This gloriously stupid movie was recommended by a colleague. Here's a list of what I loved:

1) The great (actually great--not being ironic here) credits montage that looked like it could have come straight from the Everything Is Terrible people.
2) "Did we just murder. . .as a family?"
3) "You best get to shucking!" Except "shucking" is pronounced like "sssssshhhhhucking!"
4) The terrible camera work and strange editing choices throughout. I got dizzy a few times, and the movie is really ugly. And I had to squint a few times because of sun coming in a window or some other light source in the background.
5) During a nutsy climax with all sorts of ultra-violence and bloody vomit, the soundtrack choice was a church choir. There's nothing at all wrong with that, but the recording used was live and had clapping it.
6) Intestines!
7) This is a spoiler, and probably some of that stuff up there is, too. You know, the shucking and the murder. Sorry about that. Anyway, after a scene where the mom bludgeons one of the pilgrims with her husband's severed head, the little kid gives this thumbs up that made me laugh loudly enough to wake my wife. And probably a neighbor or two.

You best get to ssssshhhucking!

This movie is awful. Don't watch it.