Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave

1976 Bruceploitation pic

Rating: 2/20

Plot: It's Bruce Lee fighting back from the grave. Duh! No, actually it's not Bruce Lee. It's some other guy who may be of the same nationality of the kung-fu superstar who finds out that his kung-fu master has been murdered and wants to find the people responsible--a cowboy, a guy with a cape, etc. Along the way, he gets himself a girlfriend.

I don't trust the people behind this movie. It's one thing to throw Bruce Lee's name in the title to put asses in the seats. But add to it the most bitchin' movie poster of all time that makes it seem like you're about to watch a movie about an immaculate dead guy (Bruce Lee doesn't decompose?) popping from 6 feet under to battle a beast with the head of rapper Slick Rick and the body of a bat while a scantily-clad woman looks on. Everything pre-credits, the part that does include stock footage of bad weather and a guy really emerging from a grave misled me into thinking I was about to watch the greatest movie of all time. But like the bitchin' poster and title, it's all just misleading. This is as offensive to the legacy of Bruce Lee as all those Dr. Seuss movies are to Theodor Geisel. They really over-do the Bruce Lee chirping noises, especially during the fight with the black guy who has a cape and an ax. They also pull a Dolemite and give you some slow-motion instant replays for a couple of the fake Bruce Lee's better moves. And he's got some good moves in his arsenal. He's not Bruce Lee though. You do get to see him fight a taxi at one point, so that's something. The action's overall pretty stale though, and this is one of those modern kung-fu movies where it takes place in an urban setting, and I just don't dig those as much. The best action scene, by the way, starts with the woman going to her car and a guy without a shirt hiding in the backseat. I think there's an urban legend about that actually. This guy made me think, at least momentarily, that the movie should have been called Chuck Norris's Chest Hair Fights Back from the Grave. Anyway, a chase ensues, and there's a sound effect that makes it sound like both of the characters are wearing high heels. The chase through an airport parking lot is just about endless. The worst things about this are some of the choppiest editing I've ever seen and the poorly-translated dubbed dialogue. Observe the following interrogation scene:

Po-po: You're going to get the chair.
Fake Bruce: What sort of chair is that?
Po-po: You what? What's with this guy? He wants his own special kind?
Other po-po: He wants his own maid. (I played this several times. I couldn't hear anything else.)
Po-po: The fool!
Other po-po: Are you putting us on? Give us some proof or you're gonna fry, boy.

And the voice work, as you'd expect, is not good. Especially the guy (I think?) who does the voice for a character named Welby. Oh, and you don't believe me about the bad dialogue? Check this one out:

Girl: What are you going to do tonight?
Fake Bruce: How am I suppose to know what I'm doing tonight?
Girl: Tell me.
FB: What do you mean?
Girl: I mean, where are you gonna go to?
FB: I got nowhere. I don't know a single soul in the city of L.A.
Girl: Where are you gonna go?
FB: Where my fancy takes me, I guess.
Girl: Really? Your fancy just go anywhere? (Rewound this one a few times, too.)
FB: I'll just wander (dramatic pause) around.
Girl: You poor boy. I've got a better idea. Why not just come home with me?
FB: Where to?
Girl: Come on!
FB: You don't have to, you know.
Girl: Come off it!

Do I sound bitter while writing about this bad movie? Maybe. But I feel like there were promises made and promises broken. I mean, a character with an ill-fitting cowboy hat is introduced, and I'm thinking, "Oh yeah! I can't wait to see this guy fight!" But then that fight [SPOILER ALERT] is just the fake Bruce Lee jumping 40 feet backward to avoid being shot by the cowboy. He doesn't kick or punch at all. Disappointing.

If I were you, I would not see this movie.