The Human Tornado

1976 blaxploitative kung-fu sequel

Rating: 5/20

Plot: Dolemite is back! After narrowly escaping the bullets of redneck law enforcement, he flees to L.A. only to find that his friend Queen Bee is in trouble with a rival night club owner. What's a human tornado to do when a friend needs help? Take care of business using the only four weapons he's got--sex, his flying fists, rapping, and a funky wardrobe.

The Human Tornado contains the greatest scene in the history of cinema. Rudy Ray Moore, as Dolemite, is fleeing from the redneck sheriff after being caught in bed with his wife. He escapes (nude, of course) and takes a swan dive off a fence at the top of a hill. The action pauses, and the words "instant replay" appear on the screen in white before the stunt is replayed. I take that back! The best scene in the history of cinema is the sex scene following Dolemite's seduction of the main bad guy's wife, a sex scene that includes the dismantling of a room and explosions. Wait a minute! The greatest scene in the history of cinema has to be when Dolemite rescues the two women being tortured. Everybody was kung-fu fighting in the 70's, but nobody did it like Dolemite! His grunting (sort of like a cross between Captain Caveman and Busta Rhymes) rival Bruce Lee's chirps, and his fists move much faster than the action film icon's. Of course, that's because the fight scenes are sped up. But the suspense doesn't end when all the bad guy's have been (apparently) thwacked to death. No no no. As one of the poor tortured damsels in distress points out--"Dolemite, be careful. I have a live grenade between my legs!" That's right. Edge-of-the-seat drama, ladies and gentlemen! So The Human Tornado is simple to recommend because it's got the three greatest scenes in the history of cinema. Everything about the movie is gratuitous, and it not only delivers the same brand of funk that Dolemite had but is one of those cases where a sequel is even better than the original. And that's difficult considering I gave the first one a 4 our of 20!

The back of my head can dig it: