Daddy's Home

2015 comedy

Rating: 6/20

Plot: As Brad finally starts to connect with his two step-children, their biological father Dusty pops into the picture.

This comedy made me very, very sad, and I'm not sure comedies are supposed to do that.

I was sleepy and lying in bed and decided to start this movie because I'd seen previews for the sequel. I was in the mood to see Mark Wahlberg's bare chest, and out of all my streaming options, this seemed to give me the best chance for that. In case you're wondering--yes, his bare chest is in this movie, and he doesn't seem to have any body hair.

It took me about two minutes to shut this off. All it took was for Will Ferrell, providing narration about how much he loves his life to get the audience up to speed, to say the words "I love my Ford Flex," egregiously diving into a car commercial right from the start. I had had enough, and the movie hadn't even introduced a conflict at all.

A couple of days later, after the yearning for Wahlberg's hairless chest became too strong, I resumed Daddy's Home. It was, my friends, a mistake that I'm going to have to live with for the rest of my life.

And not only did they double down on the Ford Flex advertising by bookending another reference at the end, but there was also blatant product placement for the following:

--Starburst, the name of the candy being mentioned by at least three characters during a scene where Wahlberg's spending time with his kids
--Cinnabon, in a recurring gag where Wahlberg either made cinnamon rolls for his family or bought some from Cinnabon and pretended that he had made them
--Red Bull, after Wahlberg has built a treehouse and a skateboard ramp in a single day in the backyard and there's a Red Bull stand in the background for some reason
--Bud Light, the preferred adult beverage for these awful characters
--Red Roof Inn
--Cinnamon Toast Crunch, mentioned in the same breath as Red Roof Inn

I'm not sure how the characters read some of these whorish lines with straight faces.

I nearly cried several times, but it wasn't related to the product placement. Not entirely.

And that's all I have to say about Daddy's Home.