The Time Machine

1960 science fiction classic

Rating: 16/20

Plot: A scientist climbs into a sleigh with a giant spinning plate behind it and travels into the distant future to discover that (God damn!) the maniacs blew it up.

I want to see a movie detailing what happens to that man who Rod Taylor fashions out of a cigar and sends away in a miniature time machine. Where's that cigar go? What are his adventures? Somebody needs to get on this immediately.

George Pal's creativity shines through a story that's a little stuffy at times. Floating clocks getting a little Twilight Zone-y in the opening credits followed by the bombast of the title screen music; the time travel scene graphics with the shot of the time-lapsed sky and flowers and stop-motion snails and candles; later rock erosion that is a quaint enough effect to be completely magical or a decomposing Morlock. I love early-60's special effects so much. Later, there's painted backdrops, something I always enjoy seeing in movies, and some goofy nuclear blast models in a scene that completely ignores science in a way that you just have to admire. That Morlock cave is a classic sci-fi set, almost like something that they borrowed from the people responsible for the Batman television show. The Morlocks themselves look pretty cool as well, at least when they're shown in shadows or at a distance. Taylor gets a chance to show off fisticuffs not befitting a scientist during that Morlock scene. Fisticuffs and whip fights, the only thing missing being some onomatopoeic word splashes! I wondered if anybody famous played a Morlock and was surprised to see that there wasn't a single Morlock credited which makes you wonder if Morlocks are actually real. It wouldn't surprise me since this was also the movie that convinced me that Sebastian Cabot was real. Speaking of Cabot--have you ever heard his version of Dylan's "It Ain't Me Babe"? That's definitely real:

But I digress. Morlocks: probably not real, but I don't think we can 100% rule it out.

My favorite scene in the movie is when Taylor's using his time machine for the first time and watching a mannequin being repeatedly undressed and redressed while pervily fondling the handle of his time machine. "Hmm," he says, "I wonder how far they'll permit this to go?" Well, George Pal and company almost permitted this to take a left on Masturbation Avenue during that scene. Later on, Taylor gets an eyeful of his first bikini, and I'm surprised he didn't whip out his time machine key and start stroking the thing immediately. I like what this says about the future although humanity should definitely reconsider the haircuts, especially the male's haircuts. And probably their names. Love this dialogue though:

H.G.: What's your name?
Future Girl: Weena.
H.G.: Weena?

The future is, according to 1960's The Time Machine at least, got unexpected Morlock action and the completely expected silver jumpsuits and monorail. Why did everybody envision monorails in the future? But anyway, I like what this says about where humanity is heading, ideas that are probably dismally prescient. Watching Taylor sweep his hands through disintegrating books and getting just as angry as Charlton Heston at the end of Apes might be the most depressing scene in any science fiction movie this whimsical.

Of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the titular invention itself. I really like it even though it's about the dopiest time machine a person could imagine. Well, other than maybe a police box that is bigger on the inside than it is the outside. But seriously, this thing's pretty cool:

At the end of the movie [Spoiler alert!], the character has returned to the future and taken three books with him. The question's asked: "Which three books would you have taken?" It's a good one to consider. Which three would you take?