Ma

2019 suspense

Rating: 8/20

Plot: After buying some liquor for some teenagers, a woman invites them to her basement to party and then becomes a little obsessed with them.

This is silly enough to be classified as a suspense-comedy but it never fully commits to that. There's humor, mostly because I think Octavia Spencer is self-aware enough to understand the dark humor in her character, but the makers of this thing seem preoccupied with jump-scaring the audience and having these dumb characters lead us into situations where jump-scares might happen. By the end, it implodes.

Diana Silvers is in two movies that are out right now--this and Booksmart. This movie also reminded me of the existence of Juliette Lewis. I can't remember the last time I saw her in a movie.

The Silence

1963 character study

Rating: 17/20

Plot: Travelling sisters make a stop at a hotel in a war-torn town and wait around for God to say something (I guess) while the son/nephew chases around a little person and finds interesting spots to urinate.

Clearly, the two sisters are two sides of the same woman--the body and the mind, more than likely--with this kid some sort of intermediary, navigating through the labyrinth corridors and, oh yes, befriending little people and finding interesting spots to urinate. The pair of women are contradictions. There's a sickly bookish translator who doesn't seem to know the language where they happen to be and her lustful sister who seems appalled in a scene where she sees a couple engaging in coitus. It appears as if their train got lost, and now they're in a world with phallic tanks and doors--lots and lots of doors. And the troupe of little people, the kind of act capable of really getting some folks going sexually, and a goofy-grinned hotel porter played wonderfully by Hakam Jahnberg though his teeth do most of the work.

What this has to do with the "silence of God" is beyond me, but it is called The Silence and therefore has to fit in with the other two. There's likely a connection between the films that I'm not smart enough to piece together. Maybe that crippled guy from Winter Light is the key with all his talk about the physical and emotional pains of Christ.

Rocketman

2019 musical biopic

Rating: 13/20

Plot: The life and death and resurrection of Elton John, a guy who can play the piano with his feet. 

Although it inspires rolling eyes with the exact kind of biopic cliches that you expect to see going in, this comes closer to succeeding where Bohemian Rhapsody didn't because its musical numbers have a lot more originality. You might question whether the song choices really fit with the specific episodes in Elton John's life they are supposed to go along with, but there's a fervor and showiness with the musical numbers that just seems to fit with this particular singer/songwriter/performer. There are some bits that are downright magical, and I imagine they might be even more magical for somebody who's more of an Elton John fan than I am. 

Side note: It's not that I don't like Elton John. The hits are tolerable, and I like a few of his non-hits, too. It's just that I worked in a Toys "R" Us when The Lion King came out and had to hear "Circle of Life" and "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" four times an hour for a while, enough times that would cause anybody to hate Elton John a little bit. 

The musical bits seem lifted right out of a 70's rock opera, filled with bombast and flamboyance. A lot of them are fake extended shots where Elton John and whatever other characters are involved are moving through various settings and time periods. It's flashy and fun and helps the story move along in a breezy way. One number takes Elton John from his mansion to the bottom of a pool to a hospital to outer space to a concert at a stadium. 

Of course, the swift storytelling is often a failing of these biopics. Breezy feelings are great during musical numbers, but when this breezes past major episodes in Rocketman's life and career, it kind of has to lean on those cliches. 

You know what made me laugh out loud? I'm actually glad that the movie's sound was so loud because I think I might have annoyed people around me. You know how Bohemian Rhapsody pulls Mercury to rock bottom before that climactic Live Aid show? Rocketman does something very similar, but instead of reenacting an important concert event or something of musical history importance, it reenacts the video for "I'm Still Standing." I was embarrassed for everybody involved at that point. 

I really thought Taron Egerton did a good job. He looks more like Elton John than anybody would have ever expected, and his singing and playing--likely aided by a little movie magic--are better than adequate. I don't know if he's going to win awards like Rami Malek did for Bohemian Rhapsody, but if he does, it'll seem like a good time for somebody with a funny name to play Donovan or somebody. 

Side note: I'm typing this while listening to Tim Heidecker's new album. Tim Heidecker doesn't have a funny name, but he should definitely play the lead in a Harry Nilsson biopic. Hollywood--get on that! 

John Wick: Chapter 3 - Parabellum

2019 action sequel to a sequel

Rating: 15/20

Plot: John Wick has a bounty of 14 million dollars on his head because of what happened in the last movie, and he has to find a way to escape New York before somebody collects. Then, there are some dogs and Catwoman.

The dreaded colon-plus-a-hyphen-that-should-probably-be-a-dash in the title of this one, and I wish they would have just left it as John Wick: Chapter 3. A "parabellum" sounds like a wild amusement park ride, the kind where you decide to inquire about the safety by asking a carny holding a cigarette between a pair of teeth and getting a shrug and a gravelly-voiced, "Well, you only live once, ya squirt" followed by a horrifying laugh that unleashes improbably terrible breath. This is an amusement park ride of an action flick, so stylish and energetic that you forgive almost every single one of its flaws.

You should know, if you've studied your Latin, that "parabellum" actually means "a whole bunch of mo-fos are going to get shot and stabbed," so it seems that nothing should surprise you about what would happen with John Wick and the mo-fos he stabs or shoots in this movie. As you might remember if you've read my write-ups about the others John Wicks, I was enamored with the artsy-fartsy action sequences in the second installment, so much that it forced me to reevaluate my opinion of the first movie. Heading into this third movie, I feared that it would just be more of the same sort of violent shenanigans with generous helpings of style and 80's neon backdrops to provide necessary flavor, the kind of thing that might feel redundant after 2 1/2 movies and cause this one to break down like that amusement park ride because that two-teethed guy doesn't give a shit and went out for more smokes. He sure as hell didn't go out for deodorant!

There might be a couple fight scenes that go on a little too long in this third installment and start to feel redundant. For the majority of the action sequences, however, there are things that I can't remember seeing before. Not that I'm an aficionado of action cinema exactly, but I've seen my fair share of movies. As with Chapter 2, this starts with a little Buster Keaton action projected on a building, I believe in Times Square. It foreshadows some of the slapsticky ultraviolence ahead for Wick as he tries to get out of New York with his life and possibly a doggy. The nocturnal adventures take him to a public library, inexplicable horse stables, and some sort of weapons museum, and in each of those locations, Wick demonstrates his killing prowess in highly original, stylized, and just fucking cool ways. Books, motorcycles, horses, and knives are used in ways that dropped my jaw and had me wanting to both hoot and holler (generally frowned upon) and even laugh. I can't think of a single fight scene in this that I didn't love watching. And while I doubted anything could top or even match the beauty of the big shoot-'em-up in the museum in the last movie, the climax takes place in a setting that seems to exist only so that John Wick can fight inside it. It's gorgeous, even when it's being smashed apart by bodies hurled through its glass walls.

A side note: The first three movies in this series take place during the same week, right? Am I missing where there's a time jump of some kind? John Wick really kills like a thousand people in just a few days, right?

Let's talk about dogs. No, actually, let's not talk about them.

This succeeds most when it is a silent movie. Well, a silent movie with sound effects, all those percussive gun blasts, manly (and womanly) grunts, snarling dogs, knife thunking, fist thwacking, body thudding. When the characters talk, there are less consistent degrees of coolness. Part of me wanted to turn off the part of my brain that focuses on plot and character and just let the rest of me enjoy the ride, and at one point, I did kind of lose track of what John Wick was even doing. This delves into the mythology of this alternate reality where every other person is apparently an assassin, all this "high table" nonsense, and the samurai-esque codes of honor and dishonor. Of course, I shouldn't be expected to understand this movie because I almost always have trouble with the superhero genre and Keanu Reeves' character in this franchise is definitely a superhero.

Man, I sure do love all the attention Buster Keaton has to be getting from his archival cameos in these. Long live, Buster Keaton! And long live, John Wick!

Through a Glass Darkly

1961 drama

Rating: 17/20

Plot: God's a spider, so they have to whisk the crazy lady off in a helicopter.

With mental breakdowns, writer's block, a play-within-a-movie, spider-God rape attempts, and incest, this is a much tougher nut to crack than its follow-up in the "silence of God" trilogy. The actors are playing characters, but they're not really playing people, more like symbols personified. Harriet Andersson is particularly good as a daughter, wife, and sister, a woman who is crazy like women in movies can be crazy.

Sven Nykvist cinematographied on this one, too, and they really know how to take advantage of this island of Toro where Bergman would go on to film over 100 films.

That last statistic might not be accurate.

Winter Light

1963 drama

Rating: 18/20

Plot: An agnostic priest deals with various members of his small congregation.

What better way to spend a week than watching Bergman's "silence of God" trilogy? I didn't watch them in order, choosing to watch this second, the most straightforward and literal of the three, first. While there's an existential depth to what happens to our priestly protagonist and his handful of parishioners as well as a few parallels to last year's cheery First Reformed, I do believe there's some humor, too, at least enough to fill a communion cup or two. Take the early scenes that show the pastor doing his thing. I feared that the movie would be pretty stuffy, but then there are some cracks in what is essentially a filmed church service, mostly from shots of his spiritless flock. The organist is yawning and checking his watch, a kid is licking the top of a pew, and even Jesus up on that cross with his missing fingers looks like he's ready to hit the tomb so that he can be out of there.

Once individual crises are introduced--belonging to both our main character and members of his congregation--bleak drama settles in. And, at least to me, this is less about the silence of God than it is about the dynamics between these people, their relationships, and what happens when people bring their needs to an individual who has nothing whatsoever to provide them. They're starving humans coming to Reverend Ericsson when he's got half a spoiled fish and a moldy piece of bread to feed them, and the guy is completely out of miracles.

Good cast! Ingrid Thulin, as former-and-possible-future lover Marta with two dots over the a, has a few knock-out moments, including an extended scene featuring the contents of a letter. Gunnar Bjornstrand has a stoic apathy, possibly one mirroring Bergman's idea of God. Max von Sydow is also in this because the guy made a career out of being in great things. I loved that organist (Olof Thunberg), and the most faithful member of the church depicted in this story--this particular church's Quasimodo. Their clashing perspectives on God and spirituality likely match Bergman's at various stages in his life.

Sven Nykvist is likely the most valuable player here as the cinematographer. The way he and Bergman take advantage of the architecture and limited spaces to mirror the relationships with these characters and the use of light is so perfect.

Ceddo

1977 movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: I don't want to talk about it.

My second Senegalese movie this year and easily the least-entertaining of the two. I'm winding down research for 1977 before compiling a list of favorite films from that year, and Ceddo was on the They Shoot Pictures, Don't They? list of the 1,000 greatest movies ever made. While it's likely important from a film history perspective, it's not particularly entertaining or even coherent. Likely, I'm missing far too much context about the conflicts between religious sects in Senegal to fully appreciate what's going on in this drama, but it's unlikely it would have made the talky two hours any more enjoyable.

This is not one of the top 1,000 movies ever made. The other movie from Senegal--Who Killed Captain Alex?--might be, however.

Brightburn

2019 anti-superhero movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: An adopted kid discovers the truth about his origin and powers that make him better than regular people.

As a metaphor for adolescent angst or the revelations that come with adopted kids' comings-of-age, this almost worked, but it's sunk by its creators' interest in jump-scaring and gore-mongering. Did we really need that extended shot of a woman pulling a sliver of florescent light bulb out of her eye ball? No, we did not, Brightburn! Nor did we need to see (and unfortunately hear) a character's jaw hanging by sinewy threads after a violent attack.

If you told me this was a superhero horror-comedy, I might buy that. There were certainly times when my theater let out some uneasy laughs, and I thought there were some scenes that were either unintentionally funny or maybe even intentionally funny. It's really hard to tell because this never establishes a tone it feels comfortable in.

I'm not sure what the budget was for this, but it seems a lot cheaper than it probably was. That's likely because there are only about four settings in the entire movie. There's a diner, the family's farmhouse, the woods, a classmate's house. Oh, and school, I guess. There's an unavoidable redundancy that sets in, and the climactic culmination of this kid being as angry as he can possibly be and realizing the extent of his powers, a climax I assume was supposed to thrill me a little more than it actually did, wasn't enough to save this thing.

Inevitably, there will be a sequel or two. I imagine subtext will be abandoned altogether so that anti-superhero onslaught can ensue. Get the Krypton ready, folks!

Silent Saturday: I was Born, But. . .

1932 silent Ozu

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Family stuff.

Ozu throwing out the rare title ellipsis in this 1932 silent movie about a family enduring a tiny earthquake. Or maybe it's just the pair of brothers enduring the tiny earthquake. Ozu shows this story from the perspective of the kids, exactly as you'd probably expect he would if you know his work at all. And if you know his work at all and his propensity for fart gags, you likely won't be surprised by all the urination humor in this one. The parallels between youthful hierarchies and mild bullying and the syncophantism or obsequiousness of adult peontry are shown in subtle ways, and this really works as a father/son movie even if the father doesn't have a lot to do. Maybe it's more of a coming-of-age movie then, one with lots of urine.

Providence

1977 meta-film

Rating: 15/20

Plot: An aged writer tries to finish a novel that seems based on his family members.

"You can't just bring an erection into my marriage and then disown it--your own flesh and blood."

If this meta-film doesn't work, it's because of the oppressive narrated commentary provided by John Gielgud's character. Miklos Rozsa's score is good, and the Kane allusions are at least cute, but there was something a little stiff about this. It's possible that it feels more stiff because Alain Resnais considered it a comedy, and I knew that going in. The dialogue does have some bite.

I feel like I could watch this twelve more times and still not be able to make all the connections that I'm supposed to with these characters. Therefore, I'll likely never watch it again.

La Soufriere

1977 short

Rating: None--it's a short, and I don't rate those. If you don't like it, take it up with the committee.

Plot: Werner Herzog and a film crew travel to a place where a volcano is about to erupt because they apparently want to die while making a movie.

This is described as a "report on an inevitable catastrophe that did not take place," the Waiting for Godot of volcano movies. For something that is turns out to be a non-event, this is as profound as it gets. There's something haunting about this village Werner Herzog and the small film crew who also want to die while making a movie like Herzog. It's a village devoid of human beings, one overrun by animals that might wonder where all the people went or might not wonder that at all.

Herzog takes his crew to the toxic edge here though you never really know how much of his documentaries are being overdramatized. Even if that's the case, this is clearly a dangerous situation, but it's all worth it because the shots of the poisonous air and smoke-drooling Soufriere are beautiful and I'm not the one whose life is at risk.

Herzog does talk via translator to some dudes who do decide not to flee from their impending destruction, and their reasoning makes them the kind of third-world philosophers that Herzog loves to put on film.

Dinner with Adele

1977 action comedy

Rating: 16/20

Plot: American detective Nick Carter has to solve a crime and stop an evil botanist.

I'm not familiar with the literary detective Nick Carter that this is based on, but I suspect Oldrich Lipsky is poking fun at America similarly to how he poked fun at America with his Western satire, Lemonade Joe. Maybe that should offend me as an American, but it's really hard for me to take this country seriously right now. I also have no attachment to American detectives.

This will likely remind any 80's kids like me of Little Shop of Horrors and Inspector Gadget. Our detective hero not only has some nifty gadgets but also is a self-unaware buffoon, and when he defeats the evil botanist, a great bad guy despite being an evil botanist because he's got both the laugh and mustache down, it's more by luck and the help of others. Sure, he shows a little ingenuity and "constant vigilance," but he's still not nearly the badass he thinks he is.

With Lipsky's name attached to this, you know it's going to have its share of quirky humor and oddball touches. This has a little-person henchman whom I adored, some photographic flashbacks, a Prague inspector who eats sausages constantly (maybe it's not just American detectives Lipsky is poking fun at), and lots of goofy sound effects. It's a treat anyway, but when you add in the stop-animated effects of Jan Svankmajer, it becomes the kind of thing that has the potential to be my favorite movie of all time. Svankmajer animates the Audrey II-esque omnivorous plant, and it's a delight to see that thing devour white mice. Or to see its tongue in action because if Svankmajer's bringing a killer plant to life, you know it's going to have a tongue. Svankmajer also animates these cool little gadgets that Nick Carter employs.

Il Posto

1961 neorealistic drama

Rating: 17/20

Plot: A kid gets a job.

Unexpectedly quirky, Il Posto is the perfect example of a movie that takes a little situation and transforms it into something monumental. Ermanno Olmi isn't exactly flashy with this slice-of-life tale and these grounded characters, but there's something nearly virtuosic about the way it moves with these characters in their everyday plight. It almost dances even when the weight of the characters' situations don't seem worthy of dancing about. 

Pokemon Detective Pikachu

2019 Pokeman movie

Rating: 8/20

Plot: Who cares?

No, I'm not the audience for Pokemon Detective Pikachu. The Pokemen craze hit when I was too old to care, and none of my children really were all that interested in them. Before this movie, I could name exactly one Pokeman, and his name is in the title. Or is Kirby a Pokeman? Squirtle? He's one, right? Maybe I could name two or three.

Very likely, there were references that went over my head with this movie. Having no emotional attachment to this franchise, it's likely that I missed out on some very exciting moments, recognizing a particular Pokeman and being able to point at the screen and say, "Look! It's a Turtlebugger brought to life!" The family next to me seemed to be getting into it. Well, they were all giggling a lot. I think they might have come in a little high actually. Maybe if I had watched this under the influence, I would have gotten more from the experience.

The positives: The created world in which Pokemen and people interact looked really good. There's spotty CGI in a baffling action sequence later in the movie, but the early scenes where we're just walking around this city (Urine City, I think it's called?) was strangely beautiful.

That is the only positive I can think of. The characters weren't engaging, the storytelling somehow managed to be simultaneously predictable and illogical, and the action scenes were really confusing. I didn't feel like I understood much of what was happening in this, partly because I was on my phone during some of the movie. When I read a plot synopsis on Wikipedia, I realized that I actually didn't miss a thing, however.

But wait, Shane. Wasn't the voice work of the charming and hilarious Ryan Reynolds a positive as well? No, not really. It kind of seemed like he was phoning it in, and I never really thought the voice matched the little yellow fellow.

I should note that I watched this in 3D, a total accident because I apparently read about as well as my middle school students. It gave me a bit of a headache and put me in a bad mood. I mean, if I'm honest, I probably came into the theater with the bad mood, but the 3D didn't really help.

When I wrote about Yi Yi, I said I was done writing about movies. I guess that was a lie. I didn't want to disappoint Rae Lyn, I suppose. I probably should have kept my word though because I can't think of how this write-up for this movie I shouldn't have bothered watching in the first place is going to enrich anybody's life.

Writing this has become my second biggest recent regret. The first is not walking out of Pokemon Detective Pikachu after the first half an hour.

Yi Yi

2000 drama

Rating: 16/20

Plot: I'd rather not get into it.

This is my last review.

Yi Yi is the kind of movie that really frustrates me. I've seen more movies than most people, and I've seen a wider variety of movies than most people. I even feel like I'm capable of appreciating a wider variety of movies than most people. I feel like I know movies! This is such a highly-regarded modern classic, and I just don't feel like I understand it the way I'm supposed to.

So I quit. I'm going to watch something really dumb tonight.