Choke

2008 movie

Rating: 9/20

Plot: Victor wants to know who his father is. Unfortunately for him, the only person who has that information, his Alzheimer-suffering mother, can't even recognize him. He works at a Colonial Williamsburg-esque park during the day and at night scams restaurant patrons by pretending to choke on food so that he can be saved and then later sent money. Or something. He also spends lots of his time at sex-addiction meetings. He has a friend who masturbates a lot.

It really felt like half of this movie was cut out or something. It's such a choppily-paced story that I wound up discombobulated beside the ottoman. And my zipper was down! Quirks-a-go-go! I felt completely disconnected from the characters and really only stuck around for the nudity. Disappointing.

Dirty Harry

1971 action movie

Rating: 16/20

Plot: If there's any type of person the misanthropic title cop hates more than anybody else, it's hippies. And San Francisco is currently being tormented by a maniacal one who is sniping random folks from rooftops and promising that he'll continue his bad behavior until the city forks over 100,000 dollars. And he does it all while giggling which ticks off Dirty Harry even more. So, Dirty Harry grows his hair really tall and goes after him, breaking more than a few rules along the way. His struggles with counting make the task even more difficult.

A lot of this movie is too dark. Was that just a problem with the dvd version I saw? I suppose this is the movie that a lot of people have been trying to copy for a few decades now. The story's actually a little weak, and the villain is a little campy (I prefer Malcovich in In the Line of Fire), but there's a coolness working here and combined with some good writing, real characterization, and exciting action scenes, this will likely remain a dated but timeless classic shoot 'em up flick.

Kill Bill Volumes 1 and 2

2003, 2004

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Beatrix Kiddo, a member of The Deadly Viper Assassination Squad, gets knocked up and decides that it's time to hang up her samurai sword and settle down in Texas. Bill, her old boyfriend and father of her unborn child and head honcho of the aforementioned squad, doesn't like that idea and crashes her wedding rehearsal in a violent manner. Four years later, after Beatrix wakes from a coma, she's not very happy about it and wants revenge. So she hunts down Sonny Chiba, gets herself a sword, and does some killin'.

There's such an odd combination of grace and mayhem in these movies. The fight scenes and choreography are terrific, but the quiet moments preceding and following the fight scenes are terrific, too. Sure, that killing spree in the House of Blue Leaves is entertaining and beautifully choreographed, but the long-shot prior to Beatrix's arrival and the tranquil wintry scene following that slaughter are in some ways even more exciting. I've seen enough kung-fu movies to appreciate the allusions in both halves of this revenge epic, and I've seen enough spaghetti westerns to appreciate the allusions in the second, less frenetic installment, and it's really an interesting marriage of these movies. Tarantino's got a good eye and ear, and the visuals and music collide in stunning ways throughout both volumes. There are some song choices I don't like, but for the most part, the recycled soundtrack stuff fits great with the action. And while there's truly some virtuosic filmmaking going on here, Tarantino often gets in his own way and makes a mess of things. Kill Bill is probably far too ambitious and sprawling, and it could easily have been a series of films. I would have loved to see more characterization for the other assassins anyway. The dialogue is strong although once again, Tarantino's goofiness gets in the way (see that "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" line). There are also a lot of great humorous moments hidden amidst the strewn limbs and blood-stained walls. My favorite is the conversation with Bill and the four-year-old daughter:

Bill: What movie do you want to watch?
Daughter: Shogun Assassin.
Bill: Shogun Assassin is too long.

Together, these are a really solid, if uneven, film. It is a bit jarring that Beatrix goes from killing about a hundred people in the first half and only one in the second.

Up

2009 movie

Rating: 16/20 (Jen: 17/20; Dylan: 11/20;Emma: 18/20; Abbey: 20/20)

Plot: Lonely widowered Carl Fredrickson is about to be shipped to an old person's home because he's a menace to society. Instead of losing the home his wife and he constructed out of memories and love, he decides to transport it to a waterfall in South America, both as a way to escape the retirement home and to fulfill a promise he had made to his Ellie a long, long time ago. Unbeknownst to Carl, a boy scout has accompanied him. They make it to South America where they run into exotic birds, talking dogs, and a childhood hero with a zeppelin.

I fully expected this movie to end in what I thought was a predictably unpredictable way. Instead, it threw me off by unpredictably ending in a predictable way. The movie is better with my ending, I think, and I'm sticking with my slightly different "reading" of this one. I can't really say anymore about that without spoiling things. Lovable characters, solid animation (not as stunningly sharp as Ratatouille though), and a quirky little story add up to another Pixar win. Like Wall-E, I think the action bits go a bit too far (that's part of my "reading" though), but the humor works throughout with lots of visual and verbal gags and the colors and details make this a feast for the eyes. It's also a very touching film, managing to make me weep within the first ten minutes which is probably a new record. Lots of little details are going to make this a movie that you can return to again and again although, like Ratatouille, a large chunk of this one is more for adults than children.

Note: I did not see the 3-D version of this movie. 3-D is for suckers.

Rachel Getting Married

2008 drama

Rating: 11/20 (Jen: 13/20)

Plot: Kym (this movie lost a point just for this spelling) is released from a rehabilitation center to participate in her sister's wedding with her dysfunctional family. Drama unfolds.

I can't figure out if Shane Getting Annoyed or Shane Getting Uncomfortable would be a better alternate title for this movie. First off, Anne Hathaway's performance is really inconsistent. At times, she's terrific and makes it easy to become emotionally involved in her character. At other times, she's shaky, almost confused by her character. Speaking of shaky, this is filmed in that faux-documentary style with handheld cameras, and that gets old really quickly. There are some extraordinarily awkward scenes in this that go on far too long--endless toasts at a wedding rehearsal dinner, some sort of variety show, a weird scene involving an impromptu dishwashing competition, and a reception that seemed twice as long as any reception I've ever been to. That reception, by the way, included the only reason I wanted to see this movie in the first place as Robyn Hitchcock plays a wedding singer and performs a couple songs. He's juxtaposed with an annoying rapper though which perfectly illustrates what's wrong with this movie. There's some good, maybe even some great, butting violently up against the bad in a way that makes this ultimately clunky and unsatisfying.

The Conversation

1974 drama

Rating: 17/20

Plot: This prequel to Superman explains the origins of supervillian Lex Luther before he met Ned Beatty and started sporting towels on the big screen.

Great psychological thriller about a paranoid surveillance guy. It's the kind of thriller that is really only thrilling in your head. It starts creepily and pulls you in before developing mysteriously and ominously. Paced deliberately, Hackman's character develops and becomes more and more desperate until a crescendo at the end. I like how the scenes with Lex Luther's toying with the recording are edited: little snippets of the titled conversation with flashbacks and different camera viewpoints of the opening scene. This movie has a sneaky tension that I really like, and I think Gene Hackman is great in it.

9 Dead Gay Guys

2002 subversive comedy

Rating: 10/20

Plot: Two buddies decide to chase after the riches of a homosexual Orthodox Jew, money rumored to be hidden under his gigantic mattress and used to pay his well-endowed lovers. A bunch of gay guys die along the way. Nine of them actually.

This wasn't very politically correct. It wasn't really all that funny either, but I am shocked out of my gourd! Cheap gags, a frenetic style borrowed from Trainspotting, in-your-face off-the-wall characters. It's a wild ride, but instead of being fun or fresh, it just felt like the kind of amusement park ride where you're jerked around for a long time and then you wonder why you stood in line for that in the first place. 9 Dead Gay Guys is cheeky. And I'm not just talking about the dwarf's bare buttocks that almost made this movie worth the effort. No, I use that word in that way that reminds us why nobody really likes the English or their comedies.

Day of the Dead

1985 zombie movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: Third film in Romero's "Dead" trilogy takes place in an underground bunker. Zombies have overtaken the world, outnumbering living humans four billion to one. A group of scientists reside with a group of military men. The scientists want to experiment on the zombies. The soldiers just want to shoot the zombies in the head. The zombies just want to eat.

Tom Savini's special effects are great here, and the actor who plays Bob the domesticated zombie gives what might be the best zombie performance in the history of the genre. But that's about all that's good here. The story is lame, and this installment just lacks the special something that Night of the Living Dead and Dawn of the Dead have. The 80's synthesizer music is embarrassingly dated. I'm probably not allowed to complain about the terrible acting or the dialogue with this type of movie, but I am allowed to complain about the pacing. This is far too talky for a zombie movie and the characters, instead of being developed into meaningful entities, really just become like living zombies themselves. That might have been the point, but it didn't help the movie any. Day of the Dead also doesn't have the clever social commentary that Dawn of the Dead did, and the imagery fails to connect in a meaningful way. The overall message of this entry in the series seems to be that when society is faced with an unsolvable problem, the only solution is to run off to a beautiful tropical island. And zombies should never be allowed to use guns. That should have been a rule from the get-go.

Dig!

2004 rockumentary

Rating: 16/20

Plot: This follows the careers of two West Coast rock bands with punny names--the Dandy Warhols and The Brian Jonestown Massacre. The former finds some success, especially in Europe, but struggles a bit as they deal with major label pressures. BJM, led by the charismatic and likely psychotic Anton Newcombe, hovers around the edges of success and major label interest; however, the explosively unpredictable behavior of their frontman always gets in the way. A sort-of rivalry develops. At least in the head of Newcombe.

In case you keep track of this sort of thing, this makes two movies in a row with exclamation marks in the titles. This really must have been a labor of love for the director as it seems to be synthesized from what must have been around a zillion hours of home footage, concert footage, and interviews. It winds up being one of those almost accidental bits of documentary greatness, sort of like a Hoop Dreams, where a story gradually develops and then unfolds in ways that could never have been written. There's humor, horror, and drama as Newcombe falls to pieces and sabotages his chances at rock 'n' roll stardom again and again. Kicking his bandmates in the middle of songs for misplaying things, arguing or engaging in fisticuffs with audience members, roller skating while wearing a fuzzy hat. My favorite bit involves the Brian Jonestown Massacre's annoying tambourine player (pictured above) who makes the claim that he can leave the band and find success with another group. He does nothing but play a freakin' tambourine! Lots to love here if you're entertained by watching human beings falling to pieces.

The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai across the Eighth Dimension!

1984 science fiction adventure movie

Rating: 10/20

Plot: The title character is a rock star, a surgeon, a scientist, and a superhero. After successfully entering the 8th dimension in his fancy rocket car, he and the Hong Kong Cavaliers must battle aliens from Planet 10 who are trying to destroy earth.

This is one of those cases where you can use the word "unique" and not mean it in a very nice way. This movie is a mess. There are some dryly humorous moments, but the plot is so sprawling and the characters just seem to be there to add decoration and aren't developed much at all. The acting is hammy (Lithgow is really out of control) and the special effects are about as good as you can find in a Power Rangers episode. The acting and special effects are supposed to be like that, but there's just this lack of fun and energy that flattens this movie. The bizarrity is over-the-top and distracting. I remember not remembering watching this as a kid. I doubt that I liked it then either. I actually expected to like this cult classic a lot more than I did.

Buster Keaton "Saturday": Steamboat Bill, Jr.

1928 silent comedy

Ratings:

Jen 18/20

Dylan 15/20

Emma 18/20

Abbey 20/20

I watched this recently and have nothing new to add. With Dylan's unusually high rating, however, Steamboat Bill, Jr. gets the highest average rating of any Buster Keaton movie we've seen so far.

The Freshman

1925 sports comedy

Rating: 16/20

Plot: A nerdy 30 year old who apparently sort of looks like me gets ready for his freshman year at Tate University. He desperately wants to be popular and does everything he can (using a goofy handshake that involves a jig, buying ice cream for everybody) to gain that popularity. He tries out for the football team but only makes it as a waterboy. Until the final game, that is, when everything that you thought was probably going to happen starts happening and Harold gets the chance to be a hero.

This is better than Keaton's similar film, College, and has some very funny moments. The climactic football game is funny enough, but it's outshined by an early series of gags involving attempts to keep an poorly manufactured suit together during a party. I also nearly laughed every time Lloyd began that silly dancing handshake thing. I don't usually praise title cards in silent movies, but this one has some clever ones, taking some jabs at education that still seem appropriate today. The typical 1920s comedy romance is a little hard to buy, and I thought it was a little hard to side with this underdog since his only motivation was achieving popularity. I really like some of the smaller moments that develop his character subtly and sweetly--Harold's adjustment of a newspaper clipping about him on the wall near a picture of his hero and the scene where he enjoys having buttons sewn on by his love interest. This is a conventional but charming silent comedy.

Iron Man

2008 comic book movie

Rating: 11/20

Plot: Part two of the biography of baseball Hall of Famer Cal Ripken who broke Lou Gehrig's "iron man" consecutive game streak. This is the part of the future Oriole superstar's story in which he winds up in Afghanistan where terrorists are forcing him to build a fancy missile. Instead, he builds a suit of armor and busts out of there. "Ain't no time to [censored] around," he said. "I've got spring training to get ready for." Cue Black Sabbath song.

It's starting to get to the point where if you've seen one comic book superhero movie, you've seen 'em all. And I'm not entirely sure why I keep subjecting myself to them. Robert Downey Jr. (the greatest actor of all time) doesn't really need to be in this. His performance seems half-assed, and anybody who sort of looks like him (read: dreamy) would have sufficed. I'm not sure what was going on with his facial hair anyway. About one-fourth of this movie consists of montages of Robert Downey Jr. building things and despite the guitar music accompanying that building action, I wasn't exactly moved. The story is predictable and really sort of lame in a way that mirrors the recent Hulk movie, and although I know I should probably not tear something apart because of what seem to be scientific illogicalities (of which this has many), that stuff really seemed to get in the way of the story here. I also thought the Iron Man looked dopey, and the action scenes, even though the special effects were adequate, were mostly at a distance which did nothing to bring the action into my living room. And I hated the rock 'n' roll soundtrack. Ho-hum.

Synecdoche, New York

2008 film experience

Rating: 17/20 (Jen: 3/20)

Plot: Theater director Caden Cotard is struggling with his work and almost every aspect of his life. After a successful production of Death of a Salesman and the awarding of a grant, he decides it's time to make something more creative and personal. He has a city constructed in a large warehouse and casts hundreds of actors to act out the minutia of the lives of him and the people. Gradually, he falls to pieces.

This is either one of my new favorite movies or a big ol' piece of crapola. I just can't decide. I laughed out several times, and I nearly cried more than a few. Hoffman's performance is heart-shattering, and his transformation from a middle-aged theater director to an old decrepit man is remarkable. This really works well as a character study of a disturbed (diseased?) man struggling with his mortality, every single choice he's made in his life, and a universe that he's unable to control. It's about as quirky as movies get, and it's definitely not easy. In fact, I plan to see it again very soon (possible this weekend) to try to figure out just what I saw the first time. There are so many fine details submerged in the chaos that I know I missed a lot. It's a riddle, but unlike other movie riddles I couldn't solve, I'm not sure I need answers to enjoy it. Actually, this seems more like the type of movie you don't really watch and understand as much as you interact with it, let it bounce around your head. This head-scratcher isn't for everybody (see Jen's rating which, I'll admit, quite possibly could be more accurate than mine), but you should watch it anyway. It's a movie I thought of all day (when I wasn't doing my job--playing chess on a computer at school), and that's usually a sign that I just watched something good.

The Kid Brother

1927 silent comedy

Rating: 16/20

Plot: The Hickory family--the sheriff, two tough-guy sons, and one Harold Lloyd--is an important family in Hickoryville. Harold falls for Mary, a woman who rolls in with a medicine show and has to use his wits, since he doesn't have the brawn, to get back the town's money that has been stolen by fiends and save his father's reputation.

Solid tale with some fun moments. The problem with Harold Lloyd though is that he's not Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin. Too bad for him. I did really like the sweet moment following the scene where Harold meets Mary in which he climbs a tree, and I really like the music in this one although that does become a little redundant. There's a very lengthy fight scene on a boat that, although humorously endless, has some great moments. And The Kid Brother not only has a monkey but the monkey from Chaplin's The Circus and Keaton's The Cameraman that Dylan said was his favorite actor. That still didn't pull him down here to watch it with me though. It's not the monkey's most brilliant role.