The Cannonball Run

1981 comedy

Rating: 4/20 (Jen: 2/20, although she didn't pay attention enough to catch the intricate genius of The Cannonball Run)

Plot: Based on a real event, The Cannonball Run tells the story of some highway scofflaws and degenerates trying to win an illegal cross-country automobile race. Showing this movie in theaters should have probably been illegal, too.

Criminally unfunny. From the blooper clips shown during the closing credits of this piece of crap, it looks like the cast is having a good time. That's good because I can't imagine the audience having a good time at all. A lot of supposedly talented people are involved, but other than the genius of Burt Reynolds' mustache and Farrah Fawcett's assets, there's not much to appreciate. I like to think of this movie as a recipe: You add the comic stylings of Burt Reynolds and Dom Deluise, sprinkle in a little Farrah Fawcett and a couple other babes, pour in the timeless comedic talents of Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr., add a pinch of Jackie Chan in a hatchback, throw in some mindless explosions and silly slapstick, top with the endlessly hilarious Terry Bradshaw and the stuttering Mel Tillis, and let simmer for what seems to be five days and you end up with. . .well, I don't know. Something you'd rather eat than watch, I guess. There's not a laugh to be had here. The bits don't work, but in The Cannonball Run, they're given a chance to work again and again which, of course, just makes you sick to your stomach. I might be wrong here, but I think some of the people associated with this movie might have used pseudonyms to escape what would have to be the inevitable end of their careers. David Shamroy Hamburger? Frank Bueno? Snuff Garnett? Come on! Those aren't real people!

Some Shane trivia: I first saw this movie at the Indiana Theater in Terre Haute, Indiana, making this the second worst movie I ever saw at that theater. All I remembered about the experience were the dozens of bats flapping over our heads though. Actually, now that I think about it, it may have been the sequel that I saw at the Indiana. That brings up a question, by the way. How could anybody have thought a sequel to this was a good idea?

12 comments:

cory said...

What was the worst film that you have seen in a theatre?

Shane said...

'Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey'

Shane said...

Wait...that's the worst film I ever saw at the Indiana Theater. I'm not sure what the worst movie I saw in any theater is. My brother and I saw a couple Ernest movies, the Fat Boys movie, and Creepshow II in the theater though.

Anonymous said...

cops and the robbersons??
did we see anything good at the indiana? lucky for them that the theater is the star attraction. we saw ernest elsewhere.

Shane said...

Yeah, we saw all those movies in theaters that weren't the Indiana...I'm not sure we saw a good movie at the Indiana actually. You had a chance to see 'Jurassic Park' with Jen and me, but you refused. I think Jen and I saw one of the Pixar movies there. The last movie we saw at the Indiana was 'Across the Universe' which isn't one of my favorites...

Shane said...

I don't remember seeing 'Cops and Robbersons'...you must have seen that with somebody else.

Anonymous said...

funny. i can't stand the beatles but i liked across the universe. i want to take amy to see a movie there but you know how often we go to movies. cops and the robbersons is the worst movie i have ever seen there. you were there. we walked out. we saw sandlot there. the 1st movie i remember seeing was king kong and it was there. ahhh memories.

Shane said...

I don't believe I've ever walked out on a movie. And I don't think I saw 'Cops and Robbersons' although my memory isn't great.

The 70's King Kong, right?

Anonymous said...

the 70s king kong yes and you were there bro. it's the only movie i have ever walked out on. you probably don't remember it because it SUCKED and our attention i am sure was wanderer. add that to your list of must sees maybe it will stir some memories, and it will take over the 1st worst movie ever at the indiana that it so richly deserves.
i checked their website no must sees going on at the indiana any time soon.

Shane said...

But is it really worse than 'Homeward Bound'? I mean, that one not only has talking animals but they're talking animals who don't even move their mouths. Terrible movie.

'Cops and Robbersons' was 1994...I was busy impregnating Jen, so I likely had others things on my mind. If I was indeed there. You might be confusing me with another brother.

Anonymous said...

re: homeward bound. they aren't "talking" animals they are "thinking" animals, like in "look who's talking"(though that's funny since the title is" look who's TALKING" and it is obvious by the dialogue that nothing is being said, but "look who's thinking" is a terrible title)...
re:bad chevy chase movies(as if there is any other kind of chevy chase movie) 1994 eh? yeh i thought it was one of our high school era movies. i think i am mistaken it must have been andrian i walked out on that with. so it stands as my worst movie experience at the indiana.

Shane said...

So the animals are telepathic? They communicate, don't they?