Chocolate

2008 kung-fu movie with a girl

Rating: 14/20

Plot: The mob boss isn't happy when two of his employees hook up. He separates them. The woman gives birth to the guy's baby, an autistic girl named Zen. Then, the mother gets cancer, and with no way to pay for treatments, finds herself in a pickle. Zen and her little fat buddy find a little black book with the names of a bunch of people who owe her mother money, and together, they go to those people to see about collecting. Zen has to kick a few in the head to get them to cooperate.

Full disclosure: I came very close to taking this out of the dvd player after the first ten or fifteen minutes. I like my kung-fu a little tongue-in-cheek, and this one, probably because of that oh-so-serious deep-voiced dubbing you get in a lot of these, just seemed to be the type of movie that was going to take itself way too seriously. But then I noticed that one of the female character's voices was dubbed by a man, and I was entertained by that. An autistic protagonist, although annoying at times, was also interesting, and there's a fat kid in the movie, too. Fat kids always lighten things up. Oh, and the fat kid, after noticing how quick Zen's reflexes are, develops this trick where he throws things at her for her to catch and it reminded me of Awakenings, one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. So I kept watching. I'm really glad I stuck with this one because although I never cared much about the characters or what was going on with them, I really enjoyed the fight scenes. This gal Jeeja Yanin's got some serious kicks. Her character learns kung-fu from watching movies, so she imitates different kung-fu legends in the fight sequences. There's a bit of Bruce Lee's birdy chirps in her first big fight scene, and some Chan-esque acrobatics and prop use in a scene that takes place in a factory. If you like seeing people getting kicked in the head, there's plenty of it in this. It all builds to a ludicrous fight scene on multiple floors of the outside of a building. It's great stuff, and I'm surprised to learn that wires and/or special effects weren't used. It definitely looks dangerous enough, and the credits reveal (painfully) that there were quite a few injuries during the shooting of this. In Jackie Chan's movies, you get the bloopers during the credits where somebody accidentally kicks Jackie in the side of the head and he rubs it and they all share a good laugh because they remember that Jackie Chan is actually made from rubber and can't be injured. In this, somebody will get kicked in the head and then crack the other side of their head on a wall or something and you think, "Wow. That guy probably just died." It's an exciting martial arts flick if that's what you're looking for. It's not without its problems, however. Jeeja Yanin can't act as well as she can beat up men, the main character's "kryptonite" is kind of stupid, that aforementioned dubbing is no good, and the techno music gives it that nauseatingly modern feel.

Chang: A Drama in the Wilderness

1927 nature documentary

Rating: 17/20 (Jen: 13/20)

Plot: A couple guys who would later go on to make a little movie called King Kong film jungle inhabitants (Kru and his family) in Siam. Their struggle for survival is threatened by leopards, tigers, and thousands of elephants. Luckily, mankind is smart and therefore always comes out on top in conflicts with nature.

Chang has a lot in common with Nanook. They're both adventure/survival documentaries taking place in lands the audiences would have no chance of visiting. They're both anthropological studies. They both contain some stunning footage of what man has to do in order to survive in the wild. However, there are some key differences. For one, Chang is made by actual filmmakers, so the shots, especially of the animals, are a lot better. There's really some excellent footage of jungle life in this, some which looks like it might have even been dangerous to capture. There are also more characters in Chang and, from the middle point on, more of a story. The way we see the animals is also completely different. In Nanook, the animals are nothing more than potential food. When the animals are on the screen, the focus is still on the human characters and what they're doing. In Chang, the animals are shown being animals, and it's amazing how some of them (monkeys mostly) even have some personality. I also think Chang is more entertaining than Nanook. Not a moment in this one drags and the scenes in which jungle folk tackle every day tasks don't get boring because not every single minute of those every day tasks are shown. I especially liked watching them construct booby traps. This probably can't be considered a true documentary because a large percentage of the scenes were obviously staged. It's almost like hours and hours of footage was shot and then reassembled as a story. But it's very well done and definitely worth seeing as both an early documentary and a prelude to King Kong.

Jen laughed uproariously several times while watching this and seemed especially entertained by a monkey. She also rooted for the elephants during the climactic elephant stampede scene. She didn't seem to like this very much but told me she had to bump it up a few points because it was really good for the 1950s. I'm not sure, but she might have been drunk again.

Mysterious Object at Noon

2000 thing

Rating: 10/20

Plot: ???

Allegedly inspired by the surrealist parlor game The Exquisite Corpse, this sort-of documentary tells a fragmented story of a crippled boy, his teacher, and a star child. Intermingling throughout, there are fairly random shots of Thailand daily life--folks selling tuna, kids playing soccer, people driving. And that's about it. This is probably the most boring movie I've seen all year. I like the idea, but the execution of that idea just doesn't work. Chunks of this dragged so much that I had to work hard just to stay awake. This starts nowhere, goes nowhere, and ends nowhere. I'm sure my tiny brain is completely missing the point of this one, but I'm not sure I care enough to ever figure it out.

Tears of the Black Tiger

2000 khao pad western

Rating: 14/20

Plot: It's a psychedelic eastern western love triangle! With spurts of blood! Dum and Rumpoey are childhood soul mates, but Rumpoey's father, the governor doesn't approve and arranges a marriage with policeman Kumjorn. Captain Kumjorn's got issues with a local gang led by the ruthless Fai. Dum, better known as Black Tiger, happens to be in that gang. Meanwhile, a jealous gunslinger in Fai's gang looks for a way to get rid of the Black Tiger and his stinkin' harmonica.

It's certainly a unique movie, borrowing from Leone and colorful Asian films and apparently Warner Brothers cartoons to create something that is simultaneously touching, action-packed, and cartoonishly goofy. Juggling all that isn't easy though, and the initial awe and novelty wears thin, especially during lengthy flashback scenes. The dizzying action, the use of painted backgrounds (see above), the cornball choreography of the gunfight scenes, and the gorgeous set pieces are terrific. But was it apparently too difficult to maintain. The dialogue is (probably deliberately) hokey, and the characters are (also probably deliberately) nothing more but character types, but this works as both parody and entertainment and is a lot of fun to watch if you've got a high tolerance for cheese. Peckinpah blood in a kaleidoscopic Old West. I'd definitely see it again!