Hamlet Goes Business

1987 Kaurismaki movie

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A modern telling of Hamlet, a play by some guy named Shakespeare.

You can't imagine the joy I was filled with when I found myself an Aki Kaurismaki movie to watch. I'm not going to detail how I had to watch this because I don't feel like sharing that. If you really have to know, just ask.

For about 4/5 of this, it's a fairly faithful adaptation of Shakespeare's Hamlet although Kaurismaki sets the thing in modern times. Things get a little nuts in the final act. This retains the darkness of Shakespeare's tragedy, but it definitely has that Kaurismakian deadpan humor with a little absurdity thrown in. I mean, when a central part of the story involves the Swedish rubber duck industry, and the titular anti-hero is shown eating a fistful of ham when we first see him, you know things are a little wacky. It's possible the subtitles I had were not translated very well, but it seemed clear to me that Kaurismaki doesn't know all that much about business himself, making a version of Hamlet where Hamlet "goes business" a little more absurd. Kaurismaki has some nods to noir and often uses this exaggerated music that made me smile.

The entire movie is worth it for one death scene which will likely be my favorite of the year. I chortled, ladies and gentlemen. I can't remember ever laughing at Shakespeare, even his comedies.

El

1953 drama

Rating: 17/20

Plot: Immediately after marrying a woman whom he believes is the one for him, Francisco becomes absurdly jealous.

I accidentally watched two movies from 1953 in a row! How about that?

This is wickedly funny, and Bunuel's got his usual targets--well-to-do white folk and the church. I'm wondering what exactly he is saying about the latter here. Francisco has a connection to the church with no obvious personal spirituality or any relationship to a deity, and the church certainly supports him. The conclusion of the story has him in a place where he connected to the church, but right before that, he has what can only be seen as a pretty terrible experience in a church. And there's another troubling moment in a bell tower.

Of course, the church is where he first gets a glimpse of those feet. And it's love at first sight of those feet! I'm not sure what the Bible says about lusting after a woman's feet in church. God made women's feet, however, so maybe he'd be cool with it.

I love how over-the-top Fernando Rey (excuse me--Arturo de Cordova, though it might as well be Rey) plays the emotions of this character. Somehow, the exaggerated performance matches the absurdity of this cat's emotions.

I need to become a Luis Bunuel completist. I'm not sure why I haven't seen everything he's done yet.

Summer with Monika

1953 Bergman movie

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Two youngsters fall for each other, but can the romance survive when things get a little too real?

I'm glad that this ended with a flashback of a scene on a beach because it saved me the trouble of having to find that scene again on my own so that I could rewatch it. Same with a lovely scene where Harriet Andersson is reclining on the front of a boat before it retreats from the camera into a watery void that only makes sense after you've watched the entire movie.

There's a real contrast with the way Bergman is showing this pair of lovebirds. The idyllic romance, a hodgepodge of random moments and lovely shots of landscape and beautiful young people, is shot in a way that makes it seem like Bergman is in love with both characters and with their relationship. It's got the innocence of a fairy tale, but the characters are naive enough to fall prey to the sorts of villains and nefarious abstractions that always seem to lurk around the edges of those fairy tales. Once the titular summer has ended, the story definitely favors one character more than the other, and Bergman doesn't really hide the idea that one of these characters deserves our hostility.

This movie begins and ends with a mirror.

Urusei Yatsura 2: Beautiful Dreamer

1984 cartoon

Rating: 14/20

Plot: High school students preparing for some sort of festival find themselves in a Groundhog Day scenario and try to get to the bottom of what's going on.

Anime isn't my bag, but I had to watch this for reasons I'd rather not discuss. I'm not sure how much I'm missing by not being at all familiar with any Urusei Yatsura that came before this. This is a "2," so I know there had to be a "1," and I also believe there was a television series. From what I understand, Mamoru Oshii either irritated or confused fans of these characters with this surreal and baffling narrative.

It's worth watching because of the creativity involved with a lot of the animated imagery. There are some inspired moments throughout, and all kinds of action and movement taking place on the screen, surprising since I believe this was kind of a rushed production. I just wish I enjoyed the story or the humor a little more.

Anyway, if you ask me politely, I'll let you know why I had to watch this.

Maelstrom

2000 talking fish movie

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A talking fish uses his dying moments to share a story about a troubled woman.

Water, water everywhere. Water is all over this one, from the title to the narrating animatronic fish to the showers to the love interest who is a diver to the stale octopus to a vehicle being submerged to the other shower scene. This was Denis Villeneuve's second feature-length film, and it has a little trouble deciding just how fragmented it wants to be. The talking fish, one that almost shares the meaning of life with us, and the various stories that weave into one big story give this the flavor of a murky fairy tale. The pieces might not come together realistically, but most murky fairy tales don't, do they?

I really liked the lead, Marie-Josee Croze. And not just the shower scenes!

More water--the use of Tom Waits' "The Ocean Doesn't Want Me Today." Maybe it was a little too obvious, but I'm never going to complain about hearing Tom Waits in a movie.

Full Metal Jacket

1987 war movie

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Vietnam stuff.

Not my favorite Kubrick film, but I do like the connections it makes between the need of man (as in, not woman) to kill and the similar need to engage in coitus with women or jelly doughnuts. It's difficult for me to connect the two distinct parts of this one--the boot camp stuff made absolutely electric by the Lee Ermey performance and Joker's continued journey while in Vietnam. There's an interesting blend of cinematic artificiality and an almost documentary-like objective voice that probably shouldn't work as well as it does. The cast is great, especially Modine who is just perfect as this guy who was "born to kill" but also longs for peace.

You have to love any movie that starts with "grabastic pieces of amphibian shits" etc. and end with the Mickey Mouse Club theme song.

The House That Jack Built

2018 drama...or maybe comedy

Rating: 14/20

Plot: A serial killer details five violent incidents to Bruno Ganz.

I was taking some notes in an effort to break down what I think this sorta-messy movie might mean, but I gave up. I assume it's autobiographical, the five incidents described by the titular serial killer alluding to stages in the ornery career of Lars Von Trier, but I don't know if I'm at a stage in my life where I want to think all that much about his career. Repeated references to Glenn Gould, all the stuff about engineering with cathedrals and arches, a William Blake shout-out, duck feet. There's a lot to digest in this one. I have no doubts that it all comes together, and that Von Trier was taking us to specific places through choppy waters. Well, I take that back. I have doubts that it all comes together because a cinematic prankster was at the helm, and this boat might have just been drifting around aimlessly.

It was definitely entertaining enough although my wife seemed annoyed that she had to be in the same room with it. I tried to tell her that the director wanted us to feel uncomfortable, but she wouldn't buy it. I was surprised at how funny the movie was, lots of dialogue or actions frequently deflating this protagonist, making him much closer to a joke than the psychopathic genius he was supposed to be. There was a surprising amount of really dark comedy that worked here.

Still, I don't really want to watch this again to better decipher the thing. It's odd to me how intellectual and seemingly impenetrable a lot of this is while a lot of the symbolism and allusions seem like something a first-year film school student would come up with.

Fatal Attraction

1987 horror movie

Rating: 12/20

Plot: A married lawyer cheats on his wife and regrets it when she reveals herself to be an obsessed psychopath.

White people. Pfft.

Michael Douglas is fatally attracted to Glenn Close? Glenn Close is fatally attracted to Michael Douglas? I'm not sure who is fatally attracted to whom, but one problem I have with this movie is that I didn't like either character. Michael Douglas is a dick, and the movie's efforts to turn him into a character the audience can root for somewhat by showing a scene where he wants to engage in sexual intercourse with his wife but can't because his daughter--who I thought was a son at that point, I have to admit--didn't effectively help me like the guy any better. One, his character had an issue with his shirt buttons. I can image this exchange:

Michael Douglas: [walks onto the set with his shirt unbuttoned to a few inches below his sternum]
Director Adrian Lyne: Ok, Michael. We've got an issue with your shirt. Wardrobe!
Wardrobe: [starts to explain something but is cut off by Michael Douglas]
Michael Douglas: No, this is how my character wears his shirt.
Lyne: I don't see that for your character. Let's have wardrobe. . .
Michael Douglas: This is how I'm wearing my fucking shirt! Stay away from my buttons! Get in here, Glenn Close. And. . .action!

Michael Douglas's character, even during a scene where he's finally telling his wife the truth about his infidelity, still lies, saying that it was only one night when those two spent a couple nights together. I remember because I was feeling sorry for that dog, an animal that was getting so much screen time that I figured he or she (I had the same problem with the dog that I did with the kid) would get a chance to paw his way into heroism at some climactic moment, but she or he doesn't, instead just noticing some water dripping from a ceiling and then not doing anything about it. It's the kind of movie dog behavior that would have embarrassed Lassie. I'll tell you that.

Glenn Close is made more and more unlikable as the movie goes. Unless I missed it because I was a little bored, I'm not even sure there was foreshadowing at all. It was just Glenn Close being sultry and giving Michael Douglas a blowjob in an elevator and then all of a sudden cutting herself and acting like a psychopath. They really piled on the crazy after that, really to the point where it was all a little too unrealistic.

Lyne: Ok, in this scene, Anne Archer, you notice the stove is on. You investigate slowly and find your daughter's bunny in there. Of course, you're shocked.
Michael Douglas: Hey, guys. I'm going to wear my shirt unbuttoned to my navel in this scene.
Bunny: Can I get a stunt double for this?

That rabbit sequence was nuts, but a later scene juxtaposing a fun time at an amusement park and some frantic driving by Anne Archer's character was even nuttier.

This movie reminds me of the 80s, and I don't want to be reminded of the 80s. Or see that much of Michael Douglas's chest.

Wings of Desire

1987 angel movie

Rating: 18/20

Plot: Angels wandering around Berlin and listening to the thoughts of human beings long to experience humanity themselves.

An elderly storyteller in a library, one who had trouble putting on his glasses in a sequence that could almost be described as slapsticky, reminded me a little of Buster Keaton.

Maybe the best thing about this movie is how it makes every aspect of humanity beautiful. That includes all the stuff that is normally considered beautiful but also our worries, our pains, our disappointments, our missed appointments, our love of goofy entertainment, our heartbreak, our tragedies, our dramatic nostrils, and our loneliness. I'm not the biggest fan of humanity, but Wim Wenders wins me over, making it nearly impossible--at least for a couple hours--to not love people.

This could be seen as a challenge for any humans or angels watching it to learn how to be amazed. I love the line about how a person has to find about about life by himself or herself and how "that's the fun of it." The film challenges people to weigh the now against the forever.

There's a significance to this taking place in Berlin, of course, but I'm not the right person to write about any of that. I'm not the right person to write about any of this.

As startling as a lot of the imagery is, it's maybe the performances that carry this. Bruno Ganz will break your heart. And if Peter Falk's performance in this isn't perfect, then I'm not sure a perfect performance can exist.

Angel Heart

1987 neo-noir

Rating: 14/20

Plot: A private detective is hired to find a missing war veteran and finds himself in the center of a mystery that is way over his head.

This is silly but stylish neo-noir with an ultra-cool and super-sexy Mickey Rourke. He's also super-sweaty, but that might be part of his appeal. The dude can work a match, and he's got this way of creating this character who is an everyman without seeming like a normal human being at all. My favorite quirk about his character, other than his willingness to wear a nose guard he's gifted, is how he's got a thing against chickens.

Robert De Niro is also in this, but he doesn't do much. He must have borrowed from the Brando contract where he gets to do all of his scenes while sitting. He twirls a cane, shows off obscene fingernail length, and gets a close-up while he's eating a hard-boiled egg.

This narrative kind of goes where you might expect it would, but that doesn't necessarily prepare you for the silliness of the denouement. A gratuitous sex scene, gratuitous voodoo, gratuitous elevators, and gratuitous Satan are all employed in an effort to pull this whole thing together.

Opera

1987 operatic horror movie

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A killer stalks an opera singer.

With Argento, you can assume you're getting style over substance, but nothing can prepare you for the raven ensemble cast here. Lots of perspective shots--some from the ravens, some from unseen figures behind vents, some from stalking murderers--and as you'd expect with this director, a great use of color and some gory deaths. I watched with closed captioning because some of the dubbed dialogue was hard to pick up, and at one point, the caption read [wet stabbing]. There was a lot of wet violence in this one, so if that's your thing, this will be your thing.

Maybe those were crows. I'm telling you--ravens/crows is my new alligators/crocodiles.

Here's something I learned from this one--"opera singers are incredibly horny." Who knew? Ironically, the cute little prima donna played by Cristina Marsillach isn't at all. In fact, in the lone scene where things are about to get sexy, she's not able to get it up, so to speak. It would have been the most disappointing part of her boyfriend's night if there wasn't wet stabbing in his future.

Is "stupid artsy-fartsy" a genre? This mash-up of artsy-fartsy visuals, inventive camera work, and opera pretensions with a pretty dumb plot is a mix that gives this a unique voice. I wasn't the biggest fan of Suspiria when I saw that one, but I think I must have been in the mood for Argento's stupid artsy-fartsiness this time.

Yeelen

1987 fantasy

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A magical father/son conflict.

Holy cow! The poster is a gigantic spoiler! Don't look at it!

For a fantasy with so much magic at the center of it, this sure is flat. I have a lot of trouble with the rhythm of African films, I guess. There is some visual magic in this, individual shots really inspired, but when there's dialogue in this, it really slows down. It's a case of too much telling instead of showing, but you have to assume a lot of that is because of budget constraints.

This is your classic son-fleeing-from-a-father-who-is-trying-to-kill-him narrative, but the movie is clearly about penises. Both father and son bring their own phallic symbols to a climactic fight, and at one point, the son even has the great line, "My penis betrayed me."

If I had a dollar for every time I've said "My penis betrayed me," I'd be making money in a really weird way. Apologies to Mitch Hedberg since that's totally his joke I just ripped off.

I got to learn about fetishes, see a guy in a hyena suit who apparently has never heard a hyena laugh, and enjoy a wild Komo meeting that featured a painted guy who showed off this stamina to just sit and do nothing that could rival my own.

Case for a Rookie Hangman

1970 Gulliver adaptation

Rating: 16/20

Plot: Apparently, a section of Gulliver's Travels.

Fell in love with this one early after some Keaton-esque car shenanigans before this launched fontanel-first into some feverishly-paced surrealism. This is based on some part of Swift's Gulliver's Travels that doesn't involve him being much bigger or much smaller than everybody else, but early, it's more like a sinister Lewis Carroll. Main character--Gulliver, naturally--is in a black and white cartoon, and floors are hopping and birds are emerging from pockets. After the initial flurry of surrealism reminiscent of Cocteau's Orphic trilogy, things slow down and allow a more traditional story to emerge, though that's as fractured and as borderline incoherent as a dream.

Sadly, this Czech new wave flick didn't make the government as happy as it made me. It was banned and director Pavel Juracek, who showed autuerist promise here, didn't work again. The whole thing's kind of ruined my weekend. What a loss that was!

Scent of a Woman

1992 drama

Rating: 15/20

Plot: A kid at a private school takes a job watching over a blind guy during Thanksgiving break, but the job is more than he bargained for.

It's arguable that Al Pacino's Oscar-winning performance in this is a little uneven, but there's nobody else who can do what he does here. He rises above a mediocre story and sketchy writing and gives this performance that makes this entertaining even at a bloated 2 1/2 hours.

Out of those 2 1/2 hours, I definitely don't like the last third nearly as much as what comes before it. It's pretty much from when he hops in that Ferrari to the end of the movie. Things get silly and Hollywoody, and by the time we reach the movie's second climax--the one for the plot that we don't really care about after the really goofy climax of the other plot--it's a little hard to take it all seriously.

Take out the individual moments in this that are truly great, most of them involving Pacino doing things or delivering some monologue about this or that, and there's a lot to really love about this one.

Benny's Video

1992 horror movie

Rating: 15/20

Plot: Parents of a screen-obsessed teenager who needs some fresh air get upset after he gets a new haircut.

Knowing Haneke's other work and the basic plot of this one, I was pretty sure it wouldn't be an easy watch. And it's not. There were definitely times that I'd rather have been watching The Toxic Avenger or whatever the teenager in this was watching than the subtly disturbing violence in this one. It starts with a shot of a pig getting a bolt pistol to the head, and then Haneke decides to show us that again in slow motion because it's the exact kind of imagery he wants to force us to watch. Visually, it wasn't anything too bad, but there's this repetitive dog barking that sounded horrifying in slow-mo. The act of violence at the center of Benny's Video is both disturbing and shocking, and the aftermath is just as disturbing and shocking. And I'm not just talking about that haircut.

Most disturbing is a teenage girl's observation that "It's snowing" while watching a video. I don't want to explain why to anybody who hasn't seen the movie though.

There are two overhead shots of McDonalds food on a tray. I'm not sure what Haneke is getting at. All of the other visuals in this seem so deliberate that this pair of shots seen so far apart in the movie have to mean something. Or who knows? Maybe it's just product placement and Haneke was able to fund the project with those shots.

I was impressed with the kid who played Benny--Arno Frisch--as well as the guy who played his dad, but the performance that really blew me away was Angela Winkler as his mother. Both parents are so good in a scene where they are watching the titular video, but Winkler really delivers something special in a couple other key scenes, one where she's crying and one where she lets out an inappropriate chortle.