Alice in Wonderland: An X-Rated Musical Fantasy

1976 x-rated musical fantasy

Rating: 8/20

Plot: The titular librarian's got "all the right equipment but [she] don't know how to put it to work." At least that's what the mechanic who's got his eye on her says. She begins to dream about living a more adventurous life, right there in the library, when a talking white rabbit visits. He leads her through a mirror into a sexual wonderland. Sex is had; songs are sung. And there are enough bad puns to make you gag.

For my money, the "Dingaling" song (not to be confused with anything Chuck Berry ever sang) during the Humpty Dumpty scene is the best song from a musical of all time. "His dingaling up, his dingaling up, he can't get his dingaling up!" And I'm not just saying that because of the lesbian nurses although they probably did put me in a better mood. This is my first dip into the porn genre here on the blog. I'm going to try to make a whole bunch of entries tonight to hide this one from my wife. Honestly, this mid-70's sexcapade seems pretty tame, but I don't (honestly) have anything to compare it to. Heck, you see neither pecker nor snatch until the twenty-three minute and twenty-one second mark although the nipple did make an earlier cameo. Mostly, this is just nutty, probably as you'd expect from something calling itself an "x-rated musical comedy." The comedy is terrible, cheap attempts at copping Lewis Carroll's word play that could have been penned by anybody who's worked a cash register at an adult video store. The music is 70's cheese, but it's not bad, all things considered. And there's that "Dingaling" song. I suspect this has a little more plot than your standard pornographic flick, probably enough to be frustrating for somebody looking to shoot his wad early and often. When people in goofy costumes aren't having sex, this almost looks like a cheaply-made experimental movie, almost like something a Kenneth Anger might throw together if he was feeling especially randy. You could almost argue that there's a point, a narrative outlining a journey of sexual awakening for a typical girl. Mostly, it's just nutty though. You get characters in spandex and furry hats and mittens, talking rocks teaching the art of auto-manipulation, the Mad Hatter's 9 3/4 "thingamajig" (that's not his hat size!), and Richard Brautigan (no, not really) as Jack. It's a little bit of fun for a little bit of time, probably more for people who enjoy watching other people doing it in a variety of ways.

Now don't tell my wife or her sister that I watched this. Thanks.