Bad Movie Club: Double Down

2005 Neil Breen movie

Bad Movie Rating: 5/5 (Kristen: 5/5; Josh: 5/5; Jeremy: no rating; Johnny: 5/5)

Rating: 2/20

Plot: Not really sure.

Breen is a miracle. The guy elevates bad movie making to a higher form of art, the kind of art that human beings aren't even capable of understanding. It's the type of movie that you watch and then are unsure whether or not you even watched it. Watch Neil Breen partake in tuna and spill some on his lap. Watch the infamous pool scene. Watch Neil Breen wake up next to his car about seven times. Watch Neil Breen pound away on laptops that are clearly not turned on. Listen to Neil Breen narrate the entire movie. You'll be touched, perhaps inappropriately, and you'll wake up a changed man.

Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol

2011 sequel sequel sequel

Rating: 15/20

Plot: Events follow events from the last movie.

This franchise hits its stride. It's a movie you watch when you want to know what camels sound like.

Mission: Impossible 3

2006 sequel sequel

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Ethan Hunt's called back into active duty after an attempt to live a more normal domesticated life.

Philip Seymour Hoffman's a nice addition. Like The Fast and the Furious franchise, these actually seem to be getting better. Of course, it would be hard to be worse than that second Woovie. And that's despite this stupid "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall" line that made me want to hurl my television at a train. That portmanteau kind of action is the sort of thing that I can't deprive the world of, so maybe I'll end this hiatus.

High Fidelity

2000 movie

Rating: 14/20 (Jen: ?/20)

Plot: A music fan mopes.

This is a whole lot of John Cusack.