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Bad Movie Rating [where a 5/5 would be a classic good-bad movie]: 3/5 (Josh: 3/5; Johnny: 3/5; Fred and Libby: did not finish)
Actual Rating: 7/20
Plot: A lousy private eye but prolific fornicator is hired to see what's up with the Chamberlain family. After he witnesses some infidelity, cross-dressing, and blackmail, he finds himself in the middle of a murder case.
It was time for more Andy Sidaris, and this was a major disappointment for us after the brilliantly awful and brilliantly sleazy Hard Ticket to Hawaii. This still nails sleazy with a solid BPM (Boobs Per Minute) rate and scenes where characters have sex only because Sidaris doesn't seem to know what else human beings do. People shoot at each other and have sex. That's about it in Andy Sidaris's world. Actually, I'm not sure if this had more sex scenes than deaths or not, but it had to have been close. Sidaris himself makes a Hitchcockian cameo as a driver of an RV, and he looks like the exact type of pervert who would make a movie like this. There's enough to make this worth watching if nipples and/or inept action movies are your thing. Seriously, Sidaris finds any excuse he can to show us a nipple or two, and when he can't think of an excuse, he'll probably show us one anyway. There's an unlikely action hero played by Darby Hinton, the guy who played Daniel Boone's kid in the TV series. He can't shoot, but he's like a babe magnet. The weird countrified banjo-heavy score must exist only to further help us all understand that Cody Abilene is a good ol' boy. Oh, and he also narrates the entire movie. There are lots of cars, a car/helicopter chase scene, a transvestite played by the same guy (Michael Andrews) who played a transvestite in Hard Ticket to Hawaii, a great and ultimately pointless performance by Robyn Hilton playing Maid Marian, a "poontage" (new favorite word, coined by Johnny), a bad guy who gets his ear shot off, and a really bad and senseless twist. There's no way I would recommend this before Hard Ticket to Hawaii, but there's definitely an audience for this sort of thing. Not for two member of Bad Movie Club, however, who left for unknown reasons that might be known but might not.
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