Rating: 10/20 (Fred: 18/20, Libby: 14/20; Ozzy: 10/20; Steve, with 9 1/2 fingers: could not finish; Carrie: could not start or finish; Josh: 12/20; Buster: made it about 3 1/2 minutes)
Plot: The dirty people on some planet are oppressed by some shiny people and send out eight space testicles in an attempt to find warriors to help them.
Fun big Japanese Star-Warsploitation with a bunch of colorful characters including a sharply-dressed Vic Morrow and the always formidable Sonny Chiba. And a dude who plays the main metal-faced bad guy's mother, naturally in drag. Bunches of lasers, some cool spaceships including the bulky galleon on the poster up there, a cute little robot, swashbuckling, glowing space testicles (maybe walnuts), great costumes, a totally incomprehensible plot-line, bitchin' mustaches. This movie really has it all. And look at all these posters:
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I'd recommend this colorful, very-Japanese sci-fi flick as a bad movie or even as an entertaining enough space opera. Part of the fun might be watching these characters interact when you know some of them aren't speaking the same language to each other. And part of the fun is, well, spaceships. And tiny robots.
1992 science fiction movie
Rating: 3/20 (Fred: 4/20; Josh: 5/20; Libby: fell asleep)
Plot: A guy gets himself arrested and thrown on a prison planet that would have been the titular prison planet if I'd gone with the alternate title Prison Planet in order to find the elderly king of his home planet for reasons, after we finally meet the senile old geezer, are never really explained all that well.
The main character refers to his "plan" a few times, but this whole thing seems made up as it goes. The protagonist and the virgin he befriends get themselves in and out of trouble so much that it's impossible to believe the guy has a plan at all. This movie could have easily been made in the 1940s. The only special effect involves a couple brief appearances by what looks to be a flying toaster, but director Armand Gazarian, a guy was proud enough of this to put his name in the credits and work his name into the script as well, must have been embarrassed by the effect and didn't keep it on the screen for long. There are no other special effects unless this Mad Max wasteland the characters are chewing up is all computer generated so beautifully that it fooled my eyes. This looks like it could have been filmed in a space of around 200 square yards. There are some interesting characters. We were all disappointed that the gal he works with on the prison planet is never shown naked, probably because we're a bunch of perverts in the Bad Movie Club. The main baddie was a guy with crazy eyes and a Fu Mancho mustache, one of those villains who has no problems killing off his own guys but can't seem to pull the trigger when it comes to his real enemies. The hero is dull, but I liked a squirmy little hustler who inexplicably wore a suit on Prison Planet (what a name--not quite as original as the home planet for the good guy--Anakin. Oh, wait. Is that original?) and sounded a little like Joe Pesci if you close you eyes and have a head injury of some kind. But the elderly king played by Jack Willcox in his only film appearance is the best, the kind of performance where you're not sure if the guy is even aware that he is in a movie. It's like somebody involved with the production just brought their grandfather along to the filming, and somebody decided to use him. This builds languidly, isn't afraid of being called preposterous, and has an ending that made all three of us who remained awake say, "That's it?" Weird bad movie.
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