1961 horror movieRating: 2/20
Plot: A housewife enters the sitting room where Father is reading his morning newspaper.
"Honey, have you seen our video camera?" she asks.
"Yeah," he replies while sucking his pipe. "The boys said they needed it for some sort of project. Some sort of monster movie. They took it down to Yucca Flats." He shrugs a boys-will-be-boys shrug.
"Are you sure they will be careful with it? They've only got the combined chronological age of 13 and the combined mental age of 4."
"Ah, sure," Father says confidently. "Besides, they talked our neighbor into going along for the ride. You know, former-wrestler and now professional actor Tor Johnson?"
"Oh, that's good." She ponders the situation. "Honey, did you tell them that the camera can no longer record sound?"
"Sound schmound! They can always just add that in later, right?"
"Oh, I guess so." She begins to dust a bookshelf and notices and empty rabbit cage. "Hey, where'd our pet rabbit go?"
Lots to love in this excellent terrible movie. It's Tor Johnson's (of Plan Nine "fame") last role, and he's brilliant in it as a Russian scientist who is exposed to atomic radiation and spends the movie being really big and lurking around. I'm sure that was a character stretch. This is just gloriously inept filmmaking, and I find it nearly impossible to believe that there was a budget at all. There was, I noted, a guy credited with "visual effects," but I have no idea what the hell that guy could have done. There's a parachuting scene that shows extreme close-ups to cover up the fact that nobody is ever in a plane or more than two feet off the ground. I guess that's an effect. I know it's pretty special! And Tor Johnson's got some warts or something. The very best part is the narration, this oddly noirish narrator who either states the obvious ("They climb the mountain carefully, trying to get to the top.") or just throws out some off-the-wall comment. "Boys from the city, not yet caught in the whirlwind of progress, feed soda pop to thirsty pigs." What? "Flag on the moon. How did it get there?" Huh? Flag on the moon? Was there a flag on the moon in 1961? "110 degrees in the shade. And no shade." So noirish! "Nothing bothers some people, not even flying saucers." What's that have to do with anything? There's very little actual dialogue in the movie, and when it's there, it sounds like it was recorded in the largest room ever constructed. It's like watching a silent movie with narration most of the time. Actually, you can find the narrative text here if interested:
http://geocities.com/brintcorb/beastYuccaFlats.html
So, I can't decide. This is either one of the worst movies ever made or one of the greatest. Regardless, I think it could possibly be what I buy everybody I know for Christmas.
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