The Brown Bunny

2003 movie

Rating: 2/20

Plot: Bud finishes a boring motorcycle race and heads out on a boring road trip to California. Along the way, he has boring encounters with desperate women who all have flowery names. His mind can't shake reminisces of an ex-girlfriend Daisy.

Ok, somebody should be arrested for giving Vincent Gallo the two hundred and fifty-three dollars to make this movie. It's January 8th. I've heard the best album of 2009 already, and I believe I've seen the worst movie I'll see this year. Self-indulgent, tacky, and extremely dull, The Brown Bunny starts nowhere (a pretentiously filmed motorcycle race) and ends with a shocking revelation that would make M. Night Shyamalan say, "No, that twist just doesn't work. It's, like, dumb." Gallo wrote, directed, and starred in this, but he probably should have found somebody else to do all three. Actually, he probably just needed to hire a plug-puller, somebody to say, "Vincent, this movie sucks!" before pulling the plug (literally...figuratively...it doesn't even matter!), destroying all footage, and giving the camcorder to a little girl so that she can film her My Little Ponies having a tea party--an NC-17, shockingly pretentious tea party. The movie's poorly filmed, reminiscent of a lazy artist's diarrhea, and the bulk of the ninety minutes is what looks to be home video footage of Vincent Gallo driving, eating, sitting there, driving, using the bathroom, driving, pumping gas, and driving. How this movie didn't ruin Chloe Sevigny's career is beyond me. Indianapolis was briefly in this movie and, I'm sure, is embarrassed about it.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I see you are getting an early start on 2009's penis and nudity catagories. I have read that they actually do a certain deed for real in this. Is that true? I don't think my wife would be big on me seeng this, so I'll take your word for its suckiness.

Shane said...

Oh, that reminds me...I forgot a label.

Yeah, the deed is done. It, like the rest of the movie, is poorly shot and pointless.

Anonymous said...

By the way, what was the CD that you loved? Can they still be called albums?

A few other notes; 'Slumdog Millionaire' has now taken Pandas place at the top of last years movies; I have been kind of jonesing for another Cory recommends; Which one wouldn't play on your computer?; Finally, since you accomplished the impossible 365, I was wondering if the Shane top-119 might be in the works.

I was thinking I might use 'Brown Bunny' for all random comments, just to remind you of it's greatness.

Shane said...

'Slumdog Millionaire' doesn't look interesting to me, but I've seen lots of praise for it.

Top 119? We'll see. That's a lot of work.

Animal Collective's new album. You can still call them albums. You can even call them records, but records is used more for single songs. Like, "I had a hit record."

I had forgotten that I still have some of the movies you gave me that I haven't seen yet. I'll check one of those out soon.