Super

2010 superhero movie

Rating: 13/20

Plot: Frank's kind of a loser, so I'm not sure why he's surprised when his wife leaves him for a drug dealer who used to sell to a guy named Jim who went to high school with a guy who had a one-night stand with the woman who sold my mother a cat. Inspired by a religious superhero program, he becomes the Crimson Bolt and starts fighting crime, vigilante-style. Unfortunately, the bad guys hanging out with his wife have guns, so Libby, a comic book store clerk, becomes his sidekick--Boltie.

Well, terrific. Now every time I see Ellen Page in a movie, I'm going to feel like a dirty old man. It couldn't have helped that this movie came out around the same time Kick-Ass did. But Kick-Ass didn't have a scene with a kid being urinated upon by two other kids like this one did in its opening seconds. That might have been the highlight of the movie although my first laugh was because of some white-outed hands. There are some darkly funny moments in this movie. I'd definitely watch that religious superhero television show, the Holy Avengers "gay" comic art was funny, the childish animation of the opening credits was a lot of fun, and a reference to Ellen Page and "midgets" was about as much as I can handle. There's also a Haxan allusion which was neat. My favorite scene involved some tentacle rape, divine visions leading to superhero gifts. It was fantastic, and the serious music backing up such ridiculous ideas clashed exquisitely. I always like Rainn Wilson although he's consistently distracting in anything he does. His faces behind the Crimson Bolt mask in this were very funny. Ellen Page's character is just too weird; she really overdoes things in this. However, she spends a lot of the movie in superhero spandex, and you do get that Ellen Page sex scene you've always been waiting for, you pervert. She's l2 years old! The biggest problem is that the transition from darkly comic to just darkly violent is too much of a jolt. No, wait. The biggest problem is indie rock music. There's just way too much music in this.