GLOW: The Story of the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling

2012 wrestling documentary

Rating: 14/20

Plot: The story of the overnight success of the titular televised female wrestling organization and its abrupt disintegration thanks partially, if you believe the rumors, to Pia Zadora.

This documentary, from the same people director who brought us The Rock-afire Explosion (a former Oprah Movie Club pick that nobody watched), and like that subject matter, this one made me a little nostalgic. They just don't make television this enjoyably goofy anymore. Or maybe they do, but I don't pay any attention. They definitely don't make them this brazenly politically incorrect or patriotic. do they? This leans heavily on a ton of footage from the television show but catches up with a lot of the show's stars with interviews and video of a reunion which, thanks to Mountain Fiji's sad life after her wrestling career, managed to choke me up a little. It all starts with some wrestling action with the two heavyweights--Matilda the Hun who once wrestled a 750-pound bear (there's a picture) and Mountain Fiji who seemed to be the favorite of all the other gals. I always enjoy watching scantily-clad women, especially gorgeous ones, wrestling with each other, but another guilty pleasure will always be white people who have no business rapping trying to do just that in the late-1980's. These ladies make the Chicago Bears seem like rap maestros. I also enjoyed the little bit they showed with the GLOW girls trainer Mando Guerrero from the famous wrestling family, including a story told about how he used a sleeper hold to knock out a laughing trainee to teach them a lesson. That guy's a badass, not because he's capable of knocking out women but because of how he says the word "boom." And if you want to see Jackie Stallone (yes, Sylvester's mother) rapping, this is definitely the documentary for you. If you just want to see Jackie Stallone, here's a picture:

You're welcome.

Of course, any Jackie Stallone rapping bonus points this would garner were immediately taken away after this forced me to have to look at Joan Rivers. That's an automatic penalty. This isn't all fun of games because wrestling, even when it's faker-than-fake-can-be, is still pretty dangerous. This does get into the dangers of this sort of activity including a shot of a very gruesome injury, and you really get the impression that these women were risking significant damage to their bodies, especially since they weren't really trained to do this. And the aftermath for a lot of the ladies can't really be described as happy endings either. I doubt anybody would call this an important documentary, but it's enjoyable.