R.I.P.D.

2013 action horror comedy thing

Rating: 8/20

Plot: Cop Ryan Reynolds is shot and killed by his partner, a gaunt Kevin Bacon. He's whisked away to a purgatory where he joins the titular undead police department who protect the world from the deceased busting back in and wreaking havoc. He and his new partner, an Old West sheriff dude, uncover a sinister plot and have to put a stop to it.

I'm starting to wonder if "Let's Get It On" has surpassed "Across the Sea" as the most overused song in movies. I think I'm going to start deducting a point from movies every time I hear either of those songs. It's just turned into an unendurable cliche. This movie, surprisingly since there's a lot of creative energy behind the story and the visuals, feels so unoriginal and dull, and it's almost unforgivable that this thing didn't excite me, make me laugh, or really make me feel anything at all. It's the least fun I can remember having watching a movie that, on paper at least, should have been tons of fun. It's got so much going for it, including a solid cast. I can't imagine why Jeff Bridges feels the need to make a movie like this although I reckon it's because he was still in character after playing John Wayne and just decided to roll with it. Some of his old-school wild West rhetoric clashing with the personality of his more-contemporary new partner, a boring Ryan Reynolds, is almost funny. Almost. I did like the way all these lawmen from different eras were brought together, an idea that should have been explored a lot more. It's weird seeing Kevin Bacon in a movie this bad, too. You'd think he also would have better things to do with his time. Mary-Louise Parker? Gosh, I just love her, but she's not right for this role at all. It's sad that Robert Knepper's career didn't take off more after the great work he did on Prison Break; he's in this, very briefly. And the great James Hong is underutilized as Ryan Reynolds' "avatar" or whatever. There was potential for that avatar thing to be clever or funny or something, but it was yet another half-baked idea in a movie that turns into a stupid cartoon filled with comic book zooms and violence. Here's my biggest problem with movies that are 90% special effects--if you don't have the ability to not make it all look like a cartoon, you should just not make it. Watch Ryan Reynolds fall in this. Or that drooling fat monster at the precinct. Or any of the sci-fi action in this that just makes you wish you were watching something that you could buy halfway, like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. Or at least something that, even if it would never succeed in convincing somebody that it was real, still manages to look like something a human being took the time to create, like Harryhausen's monsters. Do I sound old here? Because honestly, I really don't care if I do. R.I.P.D. turned me all curmudgeonly. Another idea that I kind of liked: the idea that everything just freezes the moment you die. That's a neat idea, sort of poetic if you think about it, but here it just looked really stupid, like the concept artist went a little too nutsy during the planning stages. Maybe that's the main problem with this whole thing--it's just all too nutsy. I don't know how much time they spent designing the sort-of cool-looking monsters or choreographing the often-dumb action sequences, but more definitely needed to be spent with stuff that matters. You know, like character development, dialogue, and plot.

And one more gripe. "What with the Steely Dan?" Like you ever need an excuse for Steely Dan, Ryan Reynolds! Come on!

Should I have watched this in 3-D?