1984 martial arts magic
Rating: 10/20 (Josh: 11/20; Jeremy: no rating; Fred: 18/20; Libby: 17/20; Carrie: no rating)
Plot: Hell if I know! I'm just going to steal what imdb.com has to say: "Martial arts heroes battle aliens from the Astral Plane for control of the universe." Yeah, that makes complete sense.
Sometimes, you watch a movie and afterward, just ask yourself, "What the hell did I just watch?" Apparently, this was one of Kim Jong Il's favorite movies, and I'm not sure what that says about anything, but it makes me like that little guy a lot better. Any friend of Furious is a friend of mine. This movie is all magic and mindfuckery, and there's a scene with a magician ninja guy conjuring exploding chickens that will make you shit your fucking pants. Forgive the cursing, but when you've got a magician ninja guy conjuring exploding chickens, you really can't help it. The movie's a hyperbole, a nonsensical wild hyperbolic ride through a dimension you've never even heard of--perhaps the Astral Plane!--and you'll shake your head in bewilderment when you're not crying about how terrible the fight scenes are. Like kung-fu-fighting sherpas? This movie's got 'em. Like talking pigs? Yep, Furious has that covered. How about a waterfall that gives advice? You betcha Furious has one of those! How about a magical raptor talon? Yeah, there's one of those. Oh, and are you one of those movie watchers who just can't stand dialogue? This might be the movie for you since it has very little dialogue. The first line isn't even spoken until after the 12-minute mark. Not that the visuals do a great job telling the story, mind you, but it still does add to the weirdness. The sound doesn't exactly tell the story either although the sound effects guy does everything he can to make this a magical experience. And my absolutely favorite thing about this near-masterpiece: a few shots of this Devo-on-speed band just jamming away in the bad guy headquarters. I nearly peed every time they were on the screen. Those fight scenes might be terrible, the acting might be worse, and the plot might be totally incomprehensible. However, this one's actually worth watching because it's unique. Kim Jong Il and Sarah Palin approved, the latter because I assume you can see Alaska from the Astral Plane. And there's a monster shown in this for about three seconds that looks like something that would be friends with Sarah Palin.
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