Rating: 13/20
Plot: A well-endowed officer, tired of corruption with his peers, tries to uncover something sinister.
In case I came across as a little pompous in my Mission: Impossible write-up, I want to start this by pointing out that I really didn't have a clue what was going on in this movie. I'm not even sure if Hanzo ended up solving all of the mysteries in this narrative because I didn't really understand the mysteries at all. So there you go--I'm back to being a dumb guy who watches movies.
This stars Shintaro Katsu and is an adaptation of a graphic novel by Kazuo Koike, the guy who did the Lone Wolf and Cub series. And director Kenji Misumi, who did a lot of Zatoichi movies as well as four of the Lone Wolf and Cub movies, did this one, too. I don't like it as much as those Zatoichi movies or the Lone Wolf and Cub stuff though it's just weird enough to have an appeal. It feels like samurai-sploitation, and the funky 70's score probably helps it feel that way. At times, this feels like one big penis gag. Hanzo is seen engaging in actual sword scenes a couple times, the best action sequence taking place on a bridge, but it's the sword in his pants that gets the most focus here. You actually wonder if that "sword of justice" in the title is a reference to his phallus and eventually figure that it probably is. It pops up (literally) after a scene where the character tortures himself for reasons that aren't really explains, stands up, and says to his superior officer Onishi, "It seems to erect when I'm in pain." At least that's what the subtitle said. Onishi's expression there is priceless. Soon after, there's an extended scene where Hanzo washes his shaft, "beats off," and then has sex with a bag of rice while this smooth jazz with female background vocals plays in the background. Later, we find out that it was training because the guy uses his member as an instrument of interrogation in two kinky rape scenes. It doesn't do much to make Hanzo (or the storytellers) more likable. Like Ogami in Lone Wolf and Cub, Hanzo's an anti-hero who you enjoy watching because of this stoic toughness and cleverness. I'm wondering if some of the hidden weapon tricks in his home are explored in the other two installments of this story. There's definitely potential for a character like this to be really cool, but it doesn't quite work in this first movie of the trilogy. It's not Shintaro Katsu's fault. That guy's still cool. The style of this movie is a little sleazy. You have the aforementioned rape scenes, both during which the victims wind up enjoying it, and one of them features a woman suspended from the ceiling in a net while Hanzo's buddies raise and lower her repeatedly and Hanzo spins her around really fast. I'm going to have to see if my wife has any interest in trying out something like that. There's another stylish sex scene shot in an almost avant-garde way--weird perspectives, shots through holes in a hat--and some interesting superimposing trickery, but this still probably could have used a little more style. And I don't know what to think about that funky score. I liked the music plenty, but it didn't seem like the sort of thing that belonged anywhere near a samurai sword. Unless that samurai sword is a dick, I guess.
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