The Boogens

1981 silliness

Rating: 5/20

Plot: Four guys reopen an abandoned mine and unleash the titular monster. The Boogens. Maybe it's monsters instead of just a lone monster actually. I'd probably be able to figure it out if somebody told the story a little better.

Rarely do I want to penalize a movie for its title, but this movie is called The Boogens. That might have worked if this was a horror-comedy or a horror spoof or something like that, but it's not. It's a straight monster-on-the-loose movie with only a bit of the dated humor that 80's horror filmsters would inject into the story. It's also got several of those "ha ha just kidding" moments where the bad synthesizer music and timid characters lead you to believe that something scary is about to happen (you know, like The Boogens or A Boogen jumping out of a closet and doing whatever Boogens do) but then it's just like an old guy who isn't scary at all and you say, "Ah, director of The Boogens! You got me!" while you secretly wish you were watching something else. This is a cheapo production, but the main problem is with the unlikable characters, poor storytelling, and a complete lack of style. Unless tedious shots of characters descending into basements or mine shafts is stylish. You get two kinds of shots in The Boogens--lots of quick zooms and a wobbly, nauseating Boogens-cam. But the makers of the film sure make you wait a long time to see the monster itself. You wait so long that you just think you're going to get a cool monster. That's only if you completely forget that you're watching The Boogens though because everybody knows that nothing is allowed to be cool in The Boogens. Except the dog maybe. The dog spends most of the movie trying to leave the movie, and he impressively out-acts the humans with every bark.