Rating: 14/20
Plot: A posse of alien chicks invades earth by unleashing the collective of monsters imprisoned on Monster Land. Some astronauts have to find a way to defeat them. Rawr!
That's right--the tradition of honoring reader Cory's birthday in the cheapest way imaginable is continuing. This year, I've picked what I believe to be fifth on his favorite Godzilla movie list.
This is a movie very obviously made for children. There's nothing wrong with that, and that's better than the cartoon I thought it was going to be with a first scene involving a rocket blast-off. All of these movies are a little goofy, but this one just feels goofier. I think it might be the heavy narration, especially during the first part of the movie. When the narrator said "a place called Monster Land," I again thought that I was watching a cartoon. I am glad that he introduced all the monsters though. I didn't remember their names later on though, except for the ones I'd already seen in the other movies. I'll tell you one thing about that narrator and his description of Monster Land. There's a whole lot of science going on there. Also making this whole thing so goofy that adults should be embarrassed for liking it (No, I'm not talking about you, Cory, because that would be a terrible thing to do on your birthday.): a scene where Rodan eats a dolphin; a scene where Rodan humps another monster, dryly, I assume; a doctor's suicide with an obvious dummy and the longest scream I think I've ever heard in a movie; the 1999 laser guns that make pew-pew-pew sounds; the dubbed voice of this old guy; and another dubbed voice that is supposed to sound French, I guess. One of the scientists says "the monsters look cute" at one point, and that might be part of the problem. Some of them are a little too cute. Despite the goofiness, this is almost wall-to-wall action. And I liked seeing the monsters in new locations with some familiar landmarks. The miniature stuff is well done although the movie's pretty much done with urban settings by the midway point. Some of the miniatures are complex and even having moving parts. And they're grander in scale, probably because they needed to make room for ALL monsters. The city does look a little devoid of people though, a little lifeless. Maybe at this stage in this series of movies, people knew the signs and found safe locations when they knew giant monsters were on their way. This is packed with monsters, probably too many! I still don't care much for Rodan, but I did like the spiky guy and the long guy. Son of Godzilla? Well, I just don't know about him. His voice is really silly, and he shoots smoke rings. I enjoyed the alien monster tadpole things, but the "burning monster" which turns out to not even be a monster at all is about the lamest thing ever. Oh, and Ghidorah and his trio of heads makes an appearance. They really weren't kidding with the "all" in that title! Of course, the star of the show is Godzilla, and he gets his moments. One series of scenes has some guys running from Godzilla in the woods, and I'm pretty sure some of the shots inspired shots in Jurassic Park. My favorite Godzilla moment comes early, a scene where he does a crotch chop move like that bowler Pete Weber. With the same lively music I've come to expect from these Godzilla movies and barely a slow moment, this is a fun and entertaining giant monster movie. Especially for children!
Happy birthday, Cory!
8 comments:
As always, I am touched by the birthday honor you give me. Your score seems generous relative to the review. I have the dvd at work tonight, and will watch it again since I haven't seen it for a very long time. That way I can see if it is still the awesome monster extravaganza I remember so fondly.
The score is obviously part of your present...
If you really understood what the filmmakers were trying to do, then you would appreciate the near perfection of "Destroy All Monsters". Most movies concern themselves with trivial things like getting good actors, or creating a plot that makes any sense whatsoever, or having realistic villains. "Destroy All Monsters" doesn't worry about any of that. It's almost like genius improv, where actors are so on the edge it's like they are saying lines that they have never read before that are being said to them offscreen. If the acting bothers you, then the dubbed voices are so brilliantly distracting that you soon forget what you might have had an issue with. Besides, the stars of this movie are monsters, and I can honestly say that by comparison with the human actors, the monster acting is uniformly brilliant.
No movie can have everything. That would just be greedy. If the acting, plot, dialogue, dubbing, or special effects had not been so unbelievably terrible, then the viewer wouldn't have been as ecstatic when the big monster battle and the end of the movie occur. Oh, and what a battle. We get an early tease when several monsters go to town on Moscow, Paris, London, New York City. This is actually awesome on multiple levels. We get to see some new faces that have previously only been bit monsters, and these cities finally get theirs. You know that people in these other capitals have been perfectly happy to watch the monsters rampage through Tokyo and the rest of Japan over and over and over. They have said things like "better you than me, buddy", or "serves you right for Pearl Harbor". Finally these other snooty capitals get a taste of destruction, monster-style. The finale features nearly a who's who of Toho all-stars, and they really give it their all. The best part is when several, led by the brave Godzilla, go all gansta on Ghidorah. Biting, kicking, puching and even a flying leg kick leave the three-headed bad guy smushed it the dirt, where he belongs. I'm tired of that creep always siding with the aliens, and he (she?)got what he/she/it deserved. Trying to make sense of this classic is like trying to over-analyse great art. I know that some cynics might deduct points, many many points, for the acting and dub work. They might deduct points for a dozen...thousand other "flaws", but "Destroy All Mosters" gives me exactly what I paid for...lots of monster on monster action set to the classic Toho monster movie music. I choose to focus on these classic elements and continue to love it as much as I did when I was seven. A 17. Thanks for watching it and I hope my review helps you appreciate this great movie a little more.
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Well said, Cory.
I felt a little bad for Ghidorah although he (I'm guessing he's male) didn't have to jump into a battle in which he was hopelessly outnumbered. Or was he brainwashed by aliens?
He probably is controlled, but you can tell he thinks he's better than all of the other monsters. He is better than Rodan, though. I love how one zap at Rodan's feet made him bail for the rest of the battle.
Ghidorah IS better than all the others, just not better than all the other monsters combined. My memory might just be faulty, but I think Ghidorah looks better in previous movies. He looked a little stiffer in this one. Still a badass though.
I skimmed this and noticed no mention of Ron Ashton.
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