Suicide Squad

2016 superantihero movie

Rating: 9/20

Plot: A bunch of awful people with specialized skills are assembled to fight a witch. Another incarnation of the Joker is involved.

I feel that I was duped into watching this because of the use of Sweet's "Ballroom Blitz" in the trailers. That's one of the catchiest rock songs of all time, and I want it played as pallbearers whisk my coffin out of the funeral home. And you fuckers better be dancing!

I was Movies-a-Go-Go'ing this, but I lost heart because I was bored out of my mind. This is not a movie that should have been boring. I become deflated early on.

None of these characters did anything for me. Not a single one of them. Will Smith's sharpshooter guy? A typical Will Smith badass, and I don't mean that as a positive thing. The Joker's girlfriend? The one-liners got tired really quickly. The witchy villain? I never even understood what was going on there. Lizard Man, Fire Man, Boomerang Man, the other ones I'm completely forgetting about? It's just a confusing collection of blah.

This also has one of the most oppressive soundtracks of all time. It's not that the song selections were bad because there were a lot of good nuggets there. But I swear, every single minute of this movie had it's own song. The movie was suffocated in classic rock.

I hated this movie. It's ugly. It's boring. It's borderline incomprehensible. It bites off way more than anybody could possibly chew and forces it down the audience's throat. And I can't imagine anybody--not even the biggest comic book fan--not choking on the thing.

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