Descendants 2

2017 sequel

Rating: 8/20 (Buster: 20/20)

Plot: Mal, the one with purple hair, starts to wonder if she really belongs in the land with all the good descendants. She gets in a fight with the offspring of the Beast and Belle and goes back to the island, causing all sorts of problems when the others go to bring her back.

I didn't think this movie would ever end.

This adds Ursula's daughter. Now, I know Ursula died in The Little Mermaid. She's alive in this one though you only get to see a tentacle. That was enough to sexually arouse me, of course, but I wanted you to know that up front so that you're not disappointed. This also throws in the offspring of Gaston, another character who must have reproduced posthumously. And then there's Captain Hook's boy who, for whatever reason, carries a fake hook around. I guess it's not determined what happens to Hook at the end of Peter Pan, is it?

I'm praying that Mr. Smee's children are in Descendants 3.

There's something off with the message of this movie. I don't like how it categorizes people into these two categories--villains and people who aren't villains. Thematically, this seems to make an argument that there is a lot of gray area, but when you really look at it, some of these characters--the principal villains in this--are trapped by circumstances they can't really seem to control. That makes the whole thing seem unfair, and I don't like it.

This movie has a talking dog. At one point, it says, "Amazeballs."

After this was over, I asked Buster if she thought Disney spent more on these movies or on their nightly fireworks show at the Magic Kingdom. She didn't seem to have a clue what I was asking. You just can't talk to some people.

Some guy named Thomas Doherty plays Captain Hook's son, Harry, and he's either got a naturally colorful face or he's wearing loads of makeup. His performance is so over-the-top and campy that I couldn't take my eyes off him. 

Seriously, I've spent way too much time watching and writing about these movies this weekend. I have to find something else to do now.