Murder on the Orient Express

2017 murder mystery

Rating: 14/20

Plot: The world's greatest detective and his mustache attempt to solve a murder that has taken place on a train.

That mustache is something else. I like when facial hair is almost a character on its own. I think I need to make a list some day, especially since those are enormously popular on my blog. Top Ten Best Movie Beards and Mustaches!

I like a lot of what Branagh has done here. His Poirot is pretty great, nailing this humor and misanthropy with the character that draws me to him. I like smart movie characters, and it's fun to watch Poirot do his thing. The most interesting thing about this movie is the moral dilemma Poirot finds himself in. He's in nearly every scene if not every scene, so by the time he's placed in this quandary, you can't help but put yourself in his shoes and try to figure out what you'd do in his situation.

The ensemble cast is great although there's so much of a focus on Poirot that they don't really become characters. They're just suspects and murder victims instead. It's a lot of talent to waste on suspects and murder victims, especially when they don't have all that much to do. In addition to that, what keeps this from being great is that the mystery itself is not all that interesting. As the pieces come together, you really don't care about any of that as much as you cared about how the train or the scenery surrounding the train looked, the cinematography and cutesy camera angles, and the choreography of so many characters in the confines of this train. But it's all so well acted and beautifully shot that you forgive it for having a story that doesn't really matter all that much.

When you really think about it, this one's super depressing, isn't it?

There's one great shot that I really loved that reminded me of a famous painting.

So is this a one-off vanity project for Branagh, or does he have more of these in him? It certainly seemed to set things up for a sequel, but is there enough of an audience for these kind of grand, slightly old-fashioned movies?