The Unknown

1927 drama

Rating: 14/20

Plot: Alonzo the Armless is a gypsy circus performer who, using only his feet, hurls knives at Joan Crawford. A circus love triangle develops as Alonzo and the circus strong man Malabar both fall in love with Joan Crawford. Turns out that Alonzo is faking being armless and is actually hiding from the law after robbing banks or something. Luckily for him, Joan Crawford has a hand-phobia and is uncomfortable with the strong man's attempts to grope her. Alonzo's midget sidekick gives him a golden idea that leads to a harsh discovery and a tragic climax.

This predates Tod Browning's Freaks and sort of covers similar ground. Remove the bizarre armless thing and the love interest's phobia of being touched by male hands and you've got a fairly brown-bag, soap operatic film. Nothing terribly special here unless you want to see Lon Chaney smoke a cigarette with his feet. I'm sure his starring role here is pretty demanding with leg flexibility and the wearing of a corset-type thing to hide his arms from Joan Crawford. Actually, I just looked it up, and Chaney had a stand-in--a guy actually born without arms--who smoked the cigarette and played the guitar with his feet. I generally like movies that take place in circuses or have to do with freaks, but there isn't much character or setting variety here. I think there are only around four sets and five characters, and there's nothing at all going on with the direction to make this stand out from contemporary end-of-the-silent-era stuff.

Here I am, probably thinking that I would give this 10 extra points if it included a scene where Lon Chaney pleasures himself with a foot: