Rhinoceros

1974 absurdist play adaptation

Rating: 11/20

Plot: Suddenly, everybody is turning into rhinoceroses, and Gene Wilder doesn't approve. Pressures to become a rhinoceros are driving him mad, mad enough to raise his voice in that strained high-pitched way he does in every single one of his movies. But he'll continue resisting or die trying.

I didn't know this existed, or I likely would have watched it in high school and told everybody that it was my favorite movie. It addresses an issue that I was fond of back then (conformity, the same issue my movie Are You Asleep? addressed so elegantly and professionally), and I liked Ionesco. We even (incredibly) read Ionesco's The Sand Box in another class taught by the teacher who taught the class I made my movie for. No wonder that nut case was my favorite teacher. Anyway, Rhinoceros. Ionesco? Gene Wilder? I expected to dig this one, but it was way too long, way too stupid (read: it misses "absurd" and hits stupid squarely between the eyes), and way too repetitive. You get the message about halfway through and then it's drilled into your head by Gene Wilder's strained, high-pitched voice until you're almost ready to tell the kids they can turn Spongebob Squarepants back on. And speaking of Spongebob, what's the appeal of this show? I know why kids like it, but why do so many adults seem offended when I groan whenever the show is mentioned? "You don't like Spongebob?" No, I don't. And you shouldn't like it either. Anyway, Rhinoceros. And Gene Wilder. Don't get me wrong--I actually like Gene Wilder, and he is one of the bright spots in this otherwise dismal film experience. Zero Mostel's completely bloated performance is fine, too. But this just goes on and on and on, and there's not a single line or visual gag that made me smile, let alone giggle until my groin itched. And speaking of itching groins, should I have mine examined by a doctor? I seem to scratch obsessively, sometimes with my wooden "tea-stirring" spoon. Think it's a fungus? Anyway, Rhinoceros. This is proudly a low budget affair; there's not a single rhinoceros to be seen, the creatures' attacks are rudely pantomimed instead. That's pretty neat actually, as I think that's exactly how it works in the stage production, but after the fourth or fifth time seeing the characters looking at the camera and screaming, "There's another rhinoceros! We have to do something! Ahhhh!", it gets to be a little much. I also really enjoyed one scene where Wilder's character is walking the streets and can't see anybody's heads, sort of like how genitalia was concealed behind things in one of those Austin Powers movies. Or maybe all of the Austin Powers movies. Those weren't very good either. Anyway, Rhinoceros. Or not. Maybe it's not really interesting enough to waste a lot of words on.